Did I mess up or is she overreacting?

Ok so me and this girl have been friends for a year now but its always been a bit more than that and tbh I've been in love with her for quite some time now. We're extremely close, very alike and compatible, were attracted to each other and all that good stuff. So a few weeks ago i sack up and tell her that i want us to pursue being more than friends and that i think wed be great together. She said that its somehting she thinks about a lot too and agreed with the points i made but she said there were two things holding her back 1. that she thinks im a player 2. she has never been a fan of relationships so she didn't know if shed want it to go that route where we were exclusive. (kind of a contradiction rihgt?) So i made a statement to prove i was for real, i deleted all other girls out my phone and off snapchat etc. even though she didn't ask me to and even though she eluded that she might be seeing other guys too, i guess i just took a leap of faith on that one and hoped shed respect me equaly by not seeing other guys romantically. She seemed won over by it and we started going out and talking as more than friends. It was going great. We had plans to go downtown on a date Monday night and were both very excited. Sunday night however, she tells me "btw im going on two dates tomorrow" as you can imagine that completely killed my vibe. I wasn't mad she was nor did i ask her not to but it just killed my excitement, it was a turn off. I didn't want to make a thing of it so i just said thanks for the heads up. Monday afternoon it was eating at me so i simply told her that her going on two dates kinda killed my excitement, she then told me that she wasn't interested in the other guy and they were just getting ice cream and nothing would happen. Perfect response for me, i was good. I said ok awesome can't wait for tonight. Then she said she was mad i even brought it up and that i "thought that low of her" "didnt trust her" also mad cus we aren't exclusive and she can do
what she wants and then said she was going to go out with her gf instead now. She also ignored my text today when i asked to talk about this. Did i really do something awful and am missing something or is she overreacting? sorry this is so long but details and back story make for better advice


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What Girls Said 1

  • Wow, way overreaction. You had every right to express how you felt about her dating other guys. She cancelled your date because you mentioned that you got bummed out about the thought of her going on dates with other guys? She called them "dates" and the indicates some sort of romantic factor, so it was a perfectly reasonable response for you to question that, when she started seeing you. She might be doing what some girls do, and that is - she was having doubts about her decision to go out with you already, and she used an excuse that presented itself, to cancel the date or "get out of it", rather than just tell you she didn't want to do it anymore.

    • Ok thank you very much for your input. Glad I didn't do anything stupid lol and I suppose it's possible that's the game she was playing but she was saying the morning of before I brought it up how excited she was. We talked for a couple hours on the phone last night and cleared it up. She apologized and said she overreacted and that me bringing it up her "not date" killed her mood and excitement. So I took it as petty but oh well I didn't want to dwell on it. I'm still a little mad about it but I'll wait and see if she makes it up to me.

    • If anything she's a bit immature and can't deal with situations in a productive and mature way or express her feelings well.

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