Girls, What is wrong for paying for a date?

This guy is seriously tweaked. He really doesn't want to pay for a date because apparently, women are starting to make more then men. I don't feel threatened or intimidate by this. I will continue to pay for my household, and when I go out with my fiancé because I enjoy planning and being romantic with her. Not every date has to be expensive. There doesn't have to be money involved every time. We all have bills and other responsibilities.
Agree/disagree? How do you ladies feel about men paying for your dates?

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  • Am not speaking for all my hispanic ladies but in our culture men take lead. I do expect a guy who wants to take me out on a date to pay for me. Regardless if i earn more than him. He basically showing me that i am worth every penny, as bad or selfish it may sound. It proves 2 things, that he's not greedy n he's dependacy as a man. I aso make my own money, show me this things n i will treat them once in a while too. I can also cook, so if we get comfortable enough with eachother instead going out for dinner i can cook sum bomb at he's place. I hav a big fam n i dont mind if i cook for couple of people it will actually please me if he's fam or friends taste my food. So they better not complaint.

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    • I agree with you as i am hispanic as well and agree with many traditions in our culture. It is the reason i behave the way i do most of the time. Thank you.

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    • @bubola guess we still keep it old school, now adays is all about woman dependancy but we still like to get treated like queens n we sure know how to treat our men like kings.

    • Amen! Its all about balance. One cannot demand respect, they must earn it first. We are all royalty :D

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What Girls Said 93

  • I love it when a man pays for my dates, although a little guilty.

    I believe that men and women should both offer to pay for the dates. But, I get the feeling this is bitching for bitching's sake.

    I'm not secret about my economic situation and I'm in quite the extreme low side of it. I'm an apprentice, and I work another job to make ends meet. Even between two jobs, I struggle to pay my bills let alone afford to buy myself anything pretty. My boyfriend and dad pay for all of my living and food, and it makes me feel like crap.

    Me and my boyfriend do go on dates. And even though I can't afford the whole bill, I'll always throw a bit in - it's up to him if he wants to pay for it all or not then. Even if I pay the tip and he pays the bill.

    So, no a man doesn't have to pay. And if I earnt more than my boyfriend, I would insist on paying too. But I can't pay, and he knows that. Even if we made the same money, we would treat each other.

    I think this guy is bitching because he can. Sounds like he's going to be single for a long time with an attitude like that.

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    • I agree with him being single.
      My fiance makes i lot less money then myself and it is part of the reason i dont allow her to do anything for me. I want her to take what she has earned and enjoy it. Even if we made the same amount of money i wouldn't expect her to pay for anything.

    • And that's your choice but I believe a woman should always offer. I mean, even if you paid the bills and she paid for all the luxuries, it would be splitting it. You benefit from her money in some way.
      Eg. me, my boyfriend and his friend went for a meal. He had the bill. I immediately chipped in, and then his friend did (more than me) but that way we split the bill sort of equally, and nobody was left with a chip on their shoulder.
      Situations like that, makes it easier. His friend didn't feel awkward for giving up cash and my boyfriend didn't feel odd accepting it.

      I love your attitude.

    • Thank you very much, and thank you for your opinion

  • i actually think that it's good for each person to pay for their own food because i think that little things like that can enforce equal voices in the relationship and discourage abusive relationships.

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    • I agree some people feel entitled and power to do as they please in their relationship because they pay everything. I however have never felt this way. I feel like as her fiance soon to be husband... that i should care for her necessities and be her protector. When she has wants, she can afford to have her wants taken care of. Like hair, nails, make up...

  • I'm indifferent honestly.

    One shouldn't just take on point what the other ones financial circumstances are and base "paying on dates" on that, because one earns more then the other. I prefer to split everything evenly. Why? Less drama, less issue, both can make payments to it, everyone is happy

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    • Thank you for your opinion. Curious though, do you not like it when a man pays for your date?

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    • Really appreciate the answer.

    • Oh no worries, you're all good

  • I expect in today's economy to offer to at least pay half, or offer to pay for something (you get dinner, I'll get movie). If a guy takes me up on it, great. If not, great, too. The majority of them turn down my offer to pay, but I don't think less if they take me up on it. Bottom line; dating is expensive.

    My BF and I take turns paying now, and I think it's only fair.

    But that guy was over the top, lol.

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    • Lol, that guy was nuts. My fiance and I share joint bank accounts. I prefer her to use her money on herself. Hair, nails, etc... While I pay the majority of the bills, and she contributes to our savings mostly. Mind sharing your opinion on this?

    • I think your fiancee is very lucky :)

      I don't do things like nails, shoes and such so personally I would think it fair to pay half the household expenses. But that's me :)

      I like your way of thinking; it strikes the old fashioned chord in me when men were able to support their families. Sadly in today's world, it us so hard to do that.

    • I have a very old fashioned way of thinking. Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong time period.
      But I agree, the times we are living in make it hard for men to take care of their families without their wife's input.
      Thank you for your opinions.

  • There's nothing wrong with it, of course. And there's nothing wrong with women paying for the dates either. My husband comes from a more traditional background where the men pay for things like this, and women typically do not. I definitely appreciate it, but I pay for dates all the time too - we basically take turns now.

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    • I was raised the same, and so was my fiance. In general she doesn't mind that i pay. Im seeing a lot of women prefer splitting though. I just dont like the idea of her wanting something badly, and she can't have it because i chose to let her pay for our previous date.

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    • Free dates are the best dates, and I'm glad the nice weather is back because there will be more to do for free.

    • Im just waiting for it to be really warm. Dying to take her to her first water park. Thank you for your opinion

  • I agree! The best things in life are free! A dinner date in the backyard under the stars is free, and so very romantic. I don't always like the guy to pay, as I feel like I owe him something, but it is fun to be able to treat him to something nice!

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  • This is 2015, and if two people go out and money is an issue - usually it's settled on beforehand, is it not? If someone says they want to go see Neil Diamond live and one says, "I'd love to go, but I can't afford it," a good friend or partner would say, "No problem, I've got it covered," so they can both go.

    If two people plan dinner and one says, "Do you want to do pizza or go out for French food?" One might say, "Let's do pizza, I'm broke this week," then it's understood. But if one says, "I want to take you out for French food," it's understood that it's an invite and the person asking is doing the paying.

    In my culture the person who asks usually is the one who pays. If two friends collectively want to do something, they'll put their heads and wallets together to figure out what is affordable. With my husband, we share our money completely so no matter what we do, we dip in to our dating money to do things.

    One other thing is to take turns paying for a night out. Or, split an entire bill in half. I was asked once, "Well, what if one person ordered salad and the other person ordered the chicken?" - it doesn't matter, you both went out and enjoyed the experience together, so the bill should be considered split. If the nickel-and-diming is getting in the way, then one person needs to make it clear that they cannot afford to go on outings, but perhaps they can cook for each other.

    I had heard once that some men in US/Canada don't want to pay for dates because they aren't convinced a woman will want to go on a second. That's fine, but that sort of reasoning of asking a woman out only to make her pay will guarantee no second date. Unless the woman asks the man out, that is. If he's interested in her and wants the pleasure of her company, the etiquette is whomever does the asking does the paying. If that's not the case where you or your friend lives, then I hope my other suggestions help.

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  • I think of it as a way of honouring the person you are with even though there are other ways of honouring somebody. However some guys act like you owe them something if you let them pay for you when you are not 100% certain you like them. I've had this happen to me twice so far so I think it can sometimes cause trouble.

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  • Honestly, I feel it tends to go easiest if, for the first few dates, everyone goes dutch. After that, I tend to like the idea of whomever invited the other (picks the event) pays. Once in an established relationship, things can shift depending on who's making more money, but by keeping it sorted that way early on, you don't have anyone feeling like they're owed something or being stuck paying for a date way out of their price range.

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  • I think that it dosn't really matter who pays after all you're both equal in society. saying that however, i have had an ex who NEVER payed and when he bought me a drink (£1) he made a huge deal out of it never mind i always paid. what i mean is, it dosn;t really matter as long as you feel ok with it.

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    • I dont particularly like your ex. Men like that, to me, are cowards.

  • I like when my boyfriend pays because I'm poor as dirt lol but most of the time we split the bill. I take him out too, sometimes.

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    • Im glad he does this for you.

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    • *looks at the screen all sad* its up to you :)

    • It's not that big of a deal. He always drives everywhere so spending $15 at taco bell isn't a huge problem lol

  • It should all be based around equality. I personally think that a female is aloud to pay for a date just the same amount as the guy should be aloud. There should be no disagreement between who pays because if their gender. After all , we are all untitled to equality. I'd say take turns, therefore it's fair.

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  • I think whoever asked the other out should pay. If I asked a guy out I would at least attempt to pay. But if he asks me out, I would either split it or let him pay, I shouldn't have to pay it all though, if he was the one to ask me out.

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  • For me, I only let a guy pay for a date if I like him and want to see him again. If I don't want to take it further I will insist on splitting the bill. This way I don't feel like I owe the person something in return. Since the bill is settled at the end (usually) I have plenty of time to analyse and evaluate the person's character.

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  • Everyone will have different opinions on this. I would generally offer to split the bill. Especially at my age and meeting people at uni, most people dont have much money. Plus its generally much simpler in the beginning to not be worried about money and just go halvies. Also, especially since I want to pick what I want, which I wouldn't always feel comfortable doing if I knew the guy was footing the bill.

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  • If a man is courting/seeking me out, I prefer that he pays. When we're exclusive, then I don't mind paying though it does seem weird to pay for a man. I would be unable to keep from thinking some unsavory thoughts about him.

    Some women are making more than men in certain sectors due to jobs. But not ALL women are making more, so that guy needs to stop acting like an insecure bitch.

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  • I completely agree. In the past with my ex, he would let me pay for dates very rarely, and I say "let me" because he was the type of man who didn't want his significant other paying for anything. That aside, I don't mind paying for dates, as long as he is comfortable with it. There's nothing wrong with treating your man :)

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  • So you are engaged and your fiancé doesn't always want to pay? As long as it's fine with you, there shouldn't be a problem.

    If you just started dating a guy and he doesn't pay for you - DUMP HIM. Trust me, I've been there. It's called manners.

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    • Haha, no no. My fiance wouldpay if i wasn't such a pest. I dont want her paying for it. I agree that a man should pay. Thank you for your opinion.

  • Fine as long as he lets me treat me now and then :-) i like both because when guy pays he's treating me special and when I pay I get to feel about treating my man to nice time

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    • I prefer to be the only one. My fiance fought with me a lot about doing special things for me. So i allowed she can do special things on my birthday, and Christmas. Cause im a huge kid at times.

    • That's fine as long as u have an understanding but it all depends on the couple that's all :-)

  • Initially, men I feel ought to pay, because I've found men quickly tire of things. It's a good test to see if he's planning on coming back. At least this way you don't pay to be used and discarded.

    I know that sounded biased. I've been hurt a lot. Men always find me utterly pointless. Maybe they're right. I don't know why I live anymore.

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    • Your past expirience shouldn't be allowed to trouble you now. You should take a step back, and think about the sort of ment you have dated. Then, you should rejoice in the fact that they have lost... not the other way around.
      I dont like to see a woman put herself down over her heartbreak.

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