there was a colleague who I had a crush on who seemed to hit it off with a lot of women but me. He had one of those very outgoing personalities that draws a lot of people in. I tend to be very attracted to those types but rarely are they attracted to me. I was so devestated when I noticed how much more he bonded with the other women than me. I would cry often and still do. Its just so devestating to me. i dont think Ill ever have a relationship that is fulfilling if I can't change how I am. i dont even know how to
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I would imagine this would have to do with introversion, possibly some submissiveness, and a lack of matching hobbies. These are just assumptions, so correct me if I'm wrong.
Introversion... is hard to overcome. It's hard to tell someone that they need to be more outgoing. As an introvert I know how taxing it can be to try and make the first move, or to try and hold a conversation. Online dating can sometimes help there, as guys will have a lower barrier to entry regarding sending you a message.
Submissiveness is fine. A lot of guys are dominant. It just makes it harder for you to get noticed. Again, something online could help. Or finding places where guys tend to be more dominant in the first place... that could help. Sitting around in locations full of submissive guys is not going to result in you being approached very often.
Matching hobbies is the key piece though, out of everything. The thing is, to make an impact on a guy, you need to have something to say, something to talk about. Don't find 'fake' hobbies that you do just because guys do them... a real fan of the hobby will smell out someone that is not really into it. But there are a lot of things that guys do... something is going to spark an interest in you. Once you find a couple hobbies you like, that are popular with the types of guys you like, geek out over them. Get right into it. Read about it, get involved. When you find a guy with similar interests, you will suddenly have a ton of things to talk about. He will remember you.
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