Why am I always being rejected for other girls?

Every single time, whenever a guy had to choose between me and another girl he never picks me. NEVER. the girl is always lighter skinned or described as having a more bubbly personality. since I am darkskinned being laid back is a huge drawback. I can't get away with it like lighter skinned races

I am so upset right now because nobody wants me. i am angry that i feel like breaking my computer and i cannot control my emotions after being rejected so much in my life. i dont know what to do with myself
How is it my attitude? Because I'm darkskinned and African American? Another stereotype to try to justify why Im always rejected


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm a black dude (just wanted to say that first).


    Pessimism, and negative energy in women, is a turn off to almost all men.

    That is the reason why u lose out to girls with a "bubbly personality". A bubbly personality comes off as more feminine, and less pessimistic/negative, than a more stoic girl.


    One thing u said did make me curious.

    What exactly do u mean by "not being able to 'get away with ' being laid back or having a bubbly personality due to being a dark skinned black woman"?

    I never heard of this mentality before.

    I've known dark skinned black women with bubbly personalities, and they didn't have trouble getting guys of various ethnic groups. :)

    • I don't think I have a negative energy though. Just quiet and laid back. sometimes people view this as lazy, unmotivated, mean, or angry

      . But if someone perceives me as having a negative energy, how is that my fault if I have nothing but positive ideas in my head? That is their burden not mine

      A darkskin black girl with a bubbly personality is viewed as dumb, emotionally stunted, naive, slow, wanna be white girl. It does not translate well with most people. Often you will be abused and laughed at for your stupidity/ immaturity. People will often think, "how can a darkskin black girl be bubbly, does she live in reality?" I know some people who like to go on YouTube and watch darkskin black girls with bubbly personalities and valley girl accents as entertainment. they are like caricatures to them

Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe because you take these things so seriously.
    You seem so frustrated about things like guys not liking you that you might not seem fun to hang out with at all.
    Is this amount of anger justified for something so small?
    I understand how bad it must be to feel rejected, but you need to understand you can't always be the prettiest girl in the room. There will be someone prettier, or smarter, or funnier, but that shouldn't hurt you.
    Work on you, do things that make you happy, be successful, and guys will run after you like crazy. But don't do all those things just for the guys.
    You'll realize that being "attractive" is overrated, and you'd rather just have someone who likes you for you.

    • Yes, this anger is very much justified because I'm hurt. Why am I NEVER EVER picked? I cannot think of one time where a guy chose me over some other girl. Maybe if there was a balance I wouldn't feel so bad but for it to happen consistently with me losing out everytime is hurtful and devastating to me

      I do work on things to make me successful and I'm still being rejected. None of this is helping me at all

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Can I see you? I mean a pic?

  • Who cares, just live your life. If they think your not cool, then just leave them.

    • I'm not happy living my life and I DO care. Why does everyone else deserve love and acceptance but me?

    • Show All
    • most black men are married to black women of what skin tone?

      and yes light men are comfortable with light women but what is black men's excuse? they prefer light women too

      why does everyone justify excluding women my color? why can't men be comfortable with my skin tone? what is so wrong with it?

    • May I ask where are you from? In USA most dark women have no problem marrying and having children.

What Girls Said 2

  • You're still having issues with this made up "light skinned" vs "darker skinned" women. Why not just move to a more civilized area that isn't so caught up on the colorism agenda? Stop being so needy and whiny. It's harsh but the truth.

  • I've noticed the same problem with my dating life. I'm also super laid back, I think its because most men are laid back so they want someone the "opposite" of them kind of like their other half. I don't know just a thought.


Recommended myTakes