Is it normal to tell "white lies" when you just start dating someone?

In the course of the beggining stages with two guys and one says "Hey have any plans Friday?" and I do I'll usually say something like, "I can't do Friday but how about Saturday?". Honesty being important in any relationship I DO NOT offer up a lie like, 'Oh my sister is coming to town' or 'It's a buddies Birthday'.

I've noticed a lot of guys will volunteer these lies when I haven't even asked them about there plans. Say they want to do something with me this coming weekend but have plans on Friday (a date) they won't just say "Let's do something Saturday". They will go into what they are doing Friday but ask if we can do something Sat or Sun...

The volunteering in combo with their reaction on our next date when I randomly ask "how was your friends party" is usually enough for me to confirm this was a white lie. I don't really care if they already have plans with another girl. The only reason I kind f scope this out is so I can see his tells. I don't really care about that particular lie but when someone I'm getting to know volunteers an unnecessary lie it does make me cautious about what else they would lie about if the relationship continues.

I know dating is awkward and maybe he feels guilty about the date because he is starting to like me, that makes sense. But I'm curious, men of the board, is this something you have been guilty of and is it just part of the dating game I shouldn't read too much into?

The last guy I was starting to get serious with told me after date 4 (second sleepover on a Wed.) via text on a Friday afternoon that he forgot he had to go out of town for a wedding that weekend. I hadn't asked him about his weekend plans. So basically I cut him loose...
  • Just a normal part of dating
    Vote A
  • Only if I plan to keep seeing multiple girls and not looking for anything serious
    Vote B
  • If he's comfortable lying in the beginning he'll be comfortable lying in a relationship
    Vote C
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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'd say 'I can't this day, how about this day?'
    Why even say its someone's birthday? If you can cone up with lies like that on the fly that means you can do it any time and not think twice about it.
    And then you get questions like how was the party? How's your friend? Shit like that.
    I hate when people make up stories when literally all they have to say is 'no I can't' wtf

    • Ha yeah no that's the funny part. I don't even ask to make plans this is information the guys build into their making next plans with me. LOL and yes, on our next date I do randomly say, "how was the party" to which I usually get a look of surprise, glance away and then some awkward not very detailed response. I don't take it too seriously and give mercy by changing the subject. For me I just kind of make a mental note of his tell signs when lying incase the lying becomes a pattern.

      I'm not one of the girls who is always testing her man but I also don't have patience for being messed around.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I only give an explanation because I feel they were going to ask anyways or that's just another way of saying that day is not a good day to make plans hahaa. wait how is that really a white life? that's just a lie if you know he's lying.

    • That doesn't really make sense. You know you have plans Friday so if you want to see her just prempt by making plans Saturday. It really isn't any of my business or yours what we are doing daily in our private lives in the first stages of dating. But honestly if a told me he could do Saturday and asked me about Friday I would tell him I already made plans to go on a second date with a guy before things started to get serious with us. Or if they aren't getting serious yet then why the hell should he care that I've got plans with someone else?

      Honestly knowing I have competition is just going to make me want you more and the lies only show me that you don't have enough respect for me to let me know where things stand. Player move in my mind...

    • Show All
    • LOL no I usually don't ask but either way I can usually get a read on if it is the truth. But I usually give him the benefit of doubt/ simply don't care what he is really doing the first time. But if we've been dating long enough for it to become a pattern and get evasive when I ask how X was then I'm pretty much done w you. Is that too harsh?

    • oooh now I see. well ill say its not harsh on your part, you have all these doubts built up.. BUUTTT I gotta say it would be a wiser move to verify before dropping something like that.

  • As long as he doesn't get all dressed up in the night and says he's going to hangout with his girlfriends... wait


What Girls Said 3

  • It is not normal. Don't trust them.
    Voted C.

  • In my last relationship my ex lied to me when we were just talking getting to know each other, in the beginning of the relationship (2 weeks), and had no problem doing it through out the rest of the relationship so I would say if they lie in the beginning and so effortless too they will lie about anything at any point in the relationship.

  • No it isn't why would you lie?


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