What's up with people talking about dating "damaged goods"?

I've seen a lot of people- mostly guys- talk about dating damaged people and how bad it is.

I guess it depends on one's definition of damaged, but I really don't understand what the issue is. Do you only want to date people with clean, happy pasts, no personal problems? Firstly that's hard to find. Secondly, why? I don't know about you but I can't relate to someone who's never been "damaged" in any way. That's life. Falling down and scraping your knee. I understand not wanting to be with someone who obviously has serious issues that manifest themselves in instability and a lack of ability to maintain relationships and such, but just someone who's been hurt, made a few mistakes, been through some hell- what's so awful about that?

I've been hurt, I've been through -a lot-, etc, but that doesn't make me defective in any way. It actually makes me a stronger person with more insight and appreciation for the good times.

So what's your take on this? Do you only want to date someone with a white picket fence past?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I do not think any one should be described as "damaged goods". You are dating a person now because you like them, sure everyone has a history, but does that really make them damaged? I honestly do not care unless she has some super serious issues like you described. Personally I have not been through a lot, but everyone has usually been through something.


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What Guys Said 2

  • I'm pretty 'damaged' myself (emotionally, that is) so I wouldn't really mind dating someone who is 'damaged'. I cringe while typing that word, though. It seems so offensive. I wouldn't even want to consider anyone damaged.

    • I don't like the word either.

    • Show All
    • People are harsh

    • Yeah. Not just harsh, but most people are too judgmental, selfish and cruel. Not all, but most.

  • If her past made her unable to express her love for me, or if it was the root of some major problems in our relationship, then yes, being "damaged" would be a problem. But if she had minor issues in her past, and it didn't effect her ability to love, then it wouldn't bother me at all.

    • My thing is, you can have had major issues in your past and still be a good gf/bf

    • My point exactly. I don't see the issue with "damaged" people

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