I'm so unsure of myself right now, emotions stink?

I hate being so unsure of myself. I spent all last year trying to woo this amazing girl. Even though things never got off the ground really I fell pretty hard (like always) and I think to an extent she did to. She was really busy with school being a double major, plus family, and life. She was not the most experienced dater and a real book worm (adorable). All that plus a little bit of distance and it left us with few oppurtunities. Long story short I kind of missed the one small window I had and after 9 months I just gave up. We stayed friends but eventually I realized she was too busy even for that so we stopped talking. Since then I have been dating A LOT and trying to meet new people and get out of my shell. Eventually I found a new girl who I liked a lot and we started seeing each other.

I like this new girl but the longer I am with her the more issues I find. I really am not into the whole family and kids thing anymore and I do not want to live here forever. She is the total opposite and I use to be that way. A year ago I would of just ended it, but I'm sick of running from relationships (long story). Its still really early on and until I actual move I see no point in ending things with someone I like. We have no other big issues.

But somewhere inside I still like that other girl. We actually started talking again right before I met this new girl. I wouldn't dump the new one or cheat. Even though I like her its mostly just as friends. If we were both single I might try something if I knew she had the time to date. Honestly I think the hardest part is just not knowing how that first girl actually felt or feels, that is what bugs me. Still part of me just wants to run to the old girl.

It just drives me mad. Even though I am 90% sure that at one time she liked me, she never did admit it and that she still might. She just denies it and then makes comments that totally contradict what she says. We were talking today and she made some comments about how given our past it wasn't appropriate for her to talk about my gf. Which according to her our past is only friendship and she never had feelings.
I wish she would of just said "hey I like you" or say "hey I still do" or "did". It would make things so much easier. I do not think she knows how easy she can sir that pot of old emotions in me. Sadly I'm a sucker and enjoy even just our friendship. Which is weird because I'm starting to think I actually mean that. Not really looking for advice so much as to vent. :(


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What Girls Said 1

  • 1) end things with your girlfriend. That's so selfish that you hold onto her without having true emotions for her (only like her) just ugh, I can't get over how selfish that is of you.
    2) after you're single, have a chat with that 1st girl. Good luck.


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