Getting out of the friend zone?

There is this girl I know who is really attractive, both personality-wise and looks. She is intelligent, very unique, a bit insecure, cute, loving, funny, etc. You get the gist of it. I met her in September of 2013 when I got to my new school. I mostly talked to her over Facebook because of different schedules. Starting last September, I've been seeing her around a lot more and talking in person, which has only escalated my feelings for her. She liked another guy and I didn't find out until they were together, but they broke up recently. She is really sad about it and I'm allowing her some space to recover (because it was her first relationship and the guy seemingly broke up for no reason), and I don't want to be pushy or inconsiderate of her feelings. All I want is for her to be happy and to see her smile. So far, I've just been there for her to cheer her up and make her laugh to take her mind off it.

So that's the background info. She sees me as her best friend. How can I go from "best friend" to "boyfriend"?
Guys this is high school dating, we are both abstaining from sex and it plans to stay that way unless we get married (which is extremely unlikely in the timeframe we are in). HIGH SCHOOL dating.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Be there for her, listens and just treat her like the other guy didn't so she can realize that you're a boyfriend material or even pull to the "I like a girl card" and tell her how you like a girl but you're afraid to come on to strong, little does she know that girl is her

    • That's EXACTLY what I'm doing right now. ^
      Any more wisdom? Looks like I'm on the right track.

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    • Thanks for pointing that out. I've been giving her a little more space to sort things out too. It just kills me a little inside when she says "How are you doing best friend?"

    • So it seems you've helped the most. It's not official yet but as of today I made a lot of progress in showing her how I feel. I will keep it up and maybe we will date. I'm thinking of asking her to an upcoming event at school. It's a dance type-of-thing.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • I don't think you were for her. She is not attracted to you sexually.

    • Uh what? Sorry but I was never with her, and we are in high school so abstaining from sex. I don't understand what you are saying.

    • Don't worry about what she said, just an opinion. She could be right but there is always a chance.

What Guys Said 7

  • The only way to get out of the friendzone, is by disagreeing to be her friend, and sever all links with her. Girls NEVER let guys out of the friendzone. So you need to get out of it yourself by not being her friend anymore.

  • There's always a way out u just gotta find it. Because I made it out by changing the way I did things. U see I brought up the fact that i had feelings for her and that she had friend zoned me. And she told me I had a chance. But I also stopped completing her all the time and a bunch of other stuff that gets you friend zoned. After I told her I had feelings I gave her the illusion I was no longer interested also I talk to her about the girls in my life. I kinda freind zoned her. But now she doesn't text first me everyday and tell me about her day, guy problems or none of that. Now when we do talk she flirts with me and all. She even told me she wishes her bf was like me and that she like me.
    But you have to:
    1-distance yourself for about 21 days to a month
    2- don't be so available
    3-redo your image (this one is optional)
    4-flirt wity her
    5- try talking to her about other girls make her jealous, lie if u have to just don't get caught up in the lie
    6-be dominant and let her know you go after what you want and dobt agree with her all the time. show her your ambitious and independent
    7- continue to listen to her and have that i don't care addittue, but still be a gentlemen with it
    8- and don't try and be the man she says she wants because females never go with that perfect guy they talk about wanting becUse thats a logical state of mind and females always make decisions based on emotions. Why do you think so many stay with assholes Because they love that badboy energy and that dominant train they have

  • A woman knows within 5 minutes whether she wants to fuck you. If your in the friend zone it means she just wants to use you for all the other duties of a boyfriend (except sex), and basically spill off her baggage/drama onto you. In short your only good for her as a utility and in exchange you get the satisfaction of her allowing you to be in her presence. This is how females who friend zone guys think.

  • I agree with @Ersacol28 just continue being awesome, but don't be too scared to take the moment when you find it, to share some of your feelings with her. Take her out to lunch or dinner and try take her mind off him by avoiding any discussion about their breakup or about him. Or even do something a little less boring and take her out of her comfort zone. Go bunjy jumping or go karting or paintball skirmish. Try to eliminate what has happened and try to create something new from scratch. Good luck bro you seem like a great guy.

    • Thank you man :) She's more on the girly-girl side of things but the dinner idea seems good.

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    • Thank you!

    • You helped very much too! I think it's working.

  • Why are you wasting you time?

    Isn't it clear enough? She's hooked onto her ex and is using you as a lapdog, and all you're doing is letting her walk over you.

    She's Friendzoned you and you won't be getting out of it.

  • You have to ask her out man. Maybe just say "hang out" at first, but eventually ask her on a date, and make it clear it's a date.

  • Not much you can do actually. It might already be too late.

    You want to make it obvious to her that you are interested in her sexually (not just friends). You may want to start showing her some signs subtly to begin to test the waters and gradually escalate. You still need to be nice to her, treat her well etc. But don't let your life revolve around her. Show her that you have your own interesting and fun life. And don't change yourself for her. If it happens it will, if it doesn't then it just wasn't meant to be.


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