First date jitters.

I am single again after a long relationship and I am rusty on the first date thing. To be honest I am a little nervous, afraid of the awkward silences. So I am looking for a little first date advice to easy my nerves (besides be yourself).

So the question ladies and gentleman, what kind of things make for a good first date, in your opinion? What kind of things have put you at easy and made the date a good time. Everyone's different, so I know there is not just one answer, so let the ideas fly.

Thanks everyone, I like all of your answers, all great stuff. I am going to try and keep it all in mind, that is if my head does not explode from to much info. TaurusFemmeFatale and Tamikaze, you both had great answers...
If I could split best answer between you tow I would. Alucard, I give you honorable mention for the nice come back to a conversation pause. Thanks all.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I can tell you what makes a date crummy:

    1. Spilling your guts about serious matters that involve you in the misguided belief you need to get everything out there.

    2. Asking a bunch of big questions, like "Why are you single?", "What are you looking for in a relationship?" or the biggest date killer of them all "So, how are you finding dating?".

    3. Swapping horror stories about bad dates.

    4. Talking about your recent break-up or past relationships.

    5. Talking about yourself and not asking your date anything.

    It seems too many first dates, as we get older, are taken so seriously and people feel like they have to use it as an opportunity to figure out if both of you are right for each other. Instead, see if you can find mutual subjects that seem to generate interest from your date and don't make the date too long. Keep it lighthearted and avoid topics that are too serious. You are trying to elicit some sort of spark of romantic interest, not solve the problems of the world together.

    • Yes I absolutely agree with all of that

    • Show All
    • Thanks, I was getting my self "wrapped around the axial" and forget that it does not need to be so serious, it's just a date for goodness sakes, not an interview for my next wife.

    • Perfect, yes, it is not an interview for your next wife!

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • EVERY WOMAN loves a man who has a funny bone. I never met a woman who didn't. Try taking her to a comedy club. A great laugh always eases anxiety! Have fun. Avoid bringing past topics or exes. Every man in America should avoid those types of questions. Women hate it.

    (1) Be chivalrous. Chivalry is almost non-existent on 1st dates. Although feminists fought for political, economic and social equality, nevertheless, keep in mind that we are still feminine and still wanted to be treated like LADIES! Open car doors, pull out her chair, and always PAY FOR DINNER ON A 1ST DATE!

    (2) Compliment her on what she's wearing. Nothing suggestive or sexual. Just genuine and feminine

    (3) Wear a nice cologne. A woman always remembers the scent of a man's cologne. It's a good way.

    (4) Ask her what she enjoys doing for fun. This would be a great icebreaker. I hate to admit this, but women love talking about themselves.

    (5) Talk about yourself as well. It's OK. Be natural. Don't focus too much on 'winning' her over. Remember you want to be genuinely honest, not pretentious. Women can sense that.

    I hope this helps. Good luck!

    • All great stuff. Never thought of the cologne thing. Guess I'll need to brush my teeth as well. :)

  • Also about your awkward silences I actually look for them not just in men but friends. I look for moments of silence were to people are together and it doesn't feel awkward it feels comfortable, If the silent moment feels awkward then there is something wrong there but that is just my opinion.

    • I hear you Hippy. If everything goes as planned then hopefully there will not be any awkward silences, but we all get a little nervous.

What Guys Said 3

  • I'm not sure where you're taking her but to a dinner or lunch I think is the best first date.

    It'll only last up to an hour and if there's a silence you can always just chew food.

    Dates are tough since they are so intimidating and almost forceful. The two of you have to ask each other questions and see if there's a fluidity.

    I think a better way to get to know one another is at a social event where she can bring a friend. There's less pressure and a more relaxed atmosphere. I almost never ask a girl to a date unless I've been out with her and I know we can already have a conversation.

    • She suggested a movie but I pushed for dinner, hard t talk at the movie, people through popcorn at you. I like the chewing idea. I'll have to order a big hamburger or something to stuff into my mouth from time to time while I think of a question to ask her.

  • An activity movie, gigs etc so that heavy on talking.

    Try to engage her to talk about whatever she's passionate about, I don't think my technique of taking about people/place around you and making fun of it would work at your age (sorry), so keep the chat flowing include banter (make sure your wit is at your best!, for me wit is everything) and don't get too personal, be fun, and don't complain/moan etc.

    But if it goes quite try making a joke about it or one of my moves look down, then look into her eyes and go "I'm still not use to being around pretty girls" .

  • Keep the mood light, have a good conversation (find mutual interests if possible), and employ a sense of humor. Women love a man who can make them laugh.

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