My first love cheated on me twice with her old boyfriend. She has also cheated with me on him a couple of times. I love her so much, and everytime she begs, i go to her. Im her rebound and i always will be. I've gone back to her several times, and im afraid if she begs again, i'll go again. I'm making a huge effort to stay away from her now. I can't do it again, she's killing me. Literally. To this day, she is back with her old boyfriend, and im all alone.
My question is, do i need therapy? My parents recommend that i switch stores, because she works at a store next to my store. But i honestly think therapy is a waste of time, and i need to man up and get over this myself. But am i alone in this? Am i really that badly messed up? Whenever someone recommends therapy to me, i feel like shit. Like im not strong enough, and thats sad. she's out getting over me without any issues, and i need therapy? Thats pathetic to me.
I hate the fact that i fell in love with a bitch that uses me. I wish i could stop loving her.. Is there something wrong with me? I know that in a couple of months, she'll beg for me back again, like she always does. I just can't help the fact that i was left in the dust, while she has someone fucking her brains out every night. I feel like she won. She used me, got what she wanted, and left.. Wtf..
How do i get over this..?
Most Helpful Girl
This is such a terrible scenario and I'm sorry you're going through it! Right now what you are feeling is not love but lust and maybe a bit of obsession. When someone is cheating and the other recognizes they are being used (along with name-calling her a "bitch") is not respect. There is no trust and no respect, therefore there is no love. Getting over anyone, not just a cheating-break-up takes time. After a bit of time, you will find there is less and less temptation.
It seems like it's just the sex you are missing and often times our bodies are screaming for a normal routine of sex when it's taken from us. She was a willing partner for you, and it's easy to take her back again since it's what you know. Therapy is NOT a waste of time, and even in one session, you might have a therapist make you realize why it is you're feeling what you do in the first place, and much of it will have nothing to do with her.
It sounds like if this is a fresh break-up again that you are in your usual vulnerable time. Ask yourself this: can you keep doing this for the rest of your life, because your pattern right now says you are accepting of it. If the answer is no and you're sick of it, then coming here looking for ideas was a good place to start. Get busy doing other things and stop giving her a safety net from her own problems with her exboyfriend. Let her be his problem from now on. There are many other things you can do and other people you can focus on that really do care about you rather that put up with this shit.
You already know the answers, you just have to go one day at a time removing her from your life in all ways until seeing her picture or getting a text will not mean much to you. This is a crucial time between now and maybe another 2-3 weeks and you'll see the difference if you can just detox her out of your life now.1
Most Helpful Guy
One of my ex's had a threesome's with my "best" friend and her boyfriend. I was just like you. Going back to her; she was toxic. I got over her she still wants to talk to me fuck her. How did I get over her?
1. Cry it out
2. Acceptance - she cheated on me
3. Understanding - that she was at fault and why she's not right for me. Once cheater always a cheater
4. throw or burn everything that reminds me of her
5. stay away from her social media accounts. (WARNING: One glimpse of her photo your back to step 1)
6. Find something you want to learn: whether it be guitar, cooking class, drawing, rock climbing, etc master it xD1