Why did he act like that?

There was a guy I met in my class last year but we did not talk to each other until the semester was over. We chatted mostly on MSN for quite a bit and shared many secrets and personal problems. He was really friendly to me and we had many laughs. Every now and then he would say things that were a bit puzzling and made me wonder if there were hidden meanings. He knew I had a boyfriend at that time, the thing is we do not have any mutual friends and I did not tell him so I assumed he looked at my facebook profile (we are facebook friends). He asked me how long we had been dating for and would ask me how my boyfriend would feel if he wrote racy things on my wall and would joke about breaking us up (I often went to him for relationship advice since he didn't know me well so I thought he would be able to give me unbiased opinions).

There was this one time when he told me he was looking for a girlfriend and told me all the things he was looking for in a girl, most of which described me. I didn't say anything about it since I didn't think it was possible for him to like me. He always mentioned how we had so much in common like the same taste in music.

There were times when he was being really sweet, like offering to take me out for dessert because I had a craving for cake or telling me to get some rest and finish up on my reports in the morning. He also gave me his address once when I joked that I would come over and play a prank on him. By this time he had a crush on another girl and would tell me about her and when they spent time together, but we still chatted on MSN.

Once they started dating, we stopped talking to each other. I still saw him around campus every now and then and he would stop and say hi and make small talk. But I noticed he only says hi to me when I'm by myself. When I'm with friends, he pretends not to see me. Last month, I was sitting with my friends and I saw him come him. I was going to say hi but he averted his gaze, so I just ignored him and kept chatting with my friends. After he left, one of my friends asked me if I knew him since she noticed that he kept looking at me and smiling and it seemed like he was listening to our conversation. My friend has also saw him looking at me when I sat in on some of the classes that they shared together (it's a big class, 300 students, about 100 on the balcony level where we sat).

So I'm just wondering, what was all that about? Is this normal behaviour for a guy? I've never had guy friends do this to me. It also makes me question our friendship and whether it meant anything to him at all or if I was just somebody to talk to when he was bored.


Most Helpful Guy

  • If he acted this way with you WHILE he was dating, he might be a big flirt. Some guys like to know that they are desirable and will flirt with girls. They want to see how girls react and hope that the reaction is positive.

    It sounds to me like this guy probably did like you at first. But when he realized you have a bf, he knows he can't do much there but to yank on your chains a bit for fun =) And ya, the behavior is pretty "normal" or common I should say.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Guys don't go to girls to "talk to when they're bored". I'm not sure whether or not he was crushin' on you (my bet is that he was) and was developing some feelings for you while you were his "go-to-guy". Don't ever think that a guy won't develop feelings for you, especially if you talk to him a lot. Guys that'll listen to a girl that long, give advice, and what not are a different breed. We want chicks to be happy but by doing it our own way (hopeless romantic). Just remember that whenever you start talking to a new guy. Anyone that is willing to spend that much time with you online/over the phone/what have you, is going to learn a lot about you most likely and will ultimately want to be with you. Is he like that? I don't know, I'm just going off of past experiences.

    As far as his new behavior is concerned, I've never heard of anything like that. Anytime I see a girl I'm talking to, I'd at least make an effort to wave or something. If it were me and I saw you with your friends, I'd blow you off (if I liked you) with a wave and walked on. Left you hangin' or wondering. But not even talking to you or noticing you're there? That's a little extreme (and a bit shady).

    I think it means something. I think he likes you, but is trying "the game" with you.

    • It's not that he doesn't notice I'm there, it's that he acts like he doesn't see me. Maybe he doesn't want me to bother him now that he has a girlfriend and I'm single. And what do you mean by shady?

    • Well, it wouldn't make sense for him to completely write you off unless his girlfriend requested it or he doesn't want to develop feelings for you that he knows won't be mutual. And I mean shady like. Deceptive?

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