How do I tell him I like/love him? Should I tell him?

Alright. So almost a year ago now I moved in with my best friend. At the time I kinda had a crush on him but wasn't sure if I really liked him. Throughout this past year I have managed to fall head over heels in love with him and it's just getting more intense. I feel like i need to tell him but I don't know how. There have been a few opportunities that I easily could have told him (ex. He legitimately asked if I had ever/currently liked him and I was terrified so i said no... I know I'm an idiot). I really want/need to tell him because I don't know what else to do. I'm terrified to say something because if something goes wrong or things get awkward I won't know what to do. I can't imagine him ever not being in my life and it terrifies me.
I have never liked anyone this much in my life. I'm not sure if he likes me or not. There is a chance but I honestly can't read him because he is a pretty friendly/flirty person with everyone.
if you have any ideas how I can go about this please help. Thanks
  • tell him
    Vote A
  • don't tell him
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Guy

  • What I would say is this:

    If you two seem to enjoy each others company, and he does not act annoyed when he is around you, then it's safe to let him know by saying that you like him. If he doesn't feel the same way, you should still be comfortable around each other even if he says he doesn't, and try to do it in private so that neither of you get embarassed if it goes wrong. Good Luck!

    • Thanks, I feel like it probably would go over well. its just an awful process of getting the courage to say something.

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What Guys Said 6

  • You don't have to say anything. Show him you love him by being you and being the person he comes home to every night. Show him you love him by doing things for him because you want to without expecting anything in return.

    Show him you love him by listening to him when he talks and absorbing what he's sharing and confiding with you.

    If you're doing those things, you won't have to say a word, because he'll know it and might even tell you he loves you first.

    • That's the issue though. We are such good friends that all of those things habe been the norm for almost a year now... I feel like I've been trying a little bit more but everyone thinks we are already dating (they all ask) so that's how we already act...

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    • Thanks, I don't really fear his response to it. It's really just the whole coming out and saying it. since I'm kinda shy this is the most difficult part

    • I understand. I said that in college to a girl I dated, and she didn't reply. I had to commend her for being honest and not feeling pressured in returning my gesture, but it did feel a bit weird for the silence that followed what I had just said to her.

      Years later, I realized you just feel what you feel. It's not like you met him last weekend and already think you love him. You've spent a lot of time with this guy and know quite a lot about who he truly is. So if you're feelings are strong for him, then don't be shy and just let him know. I'm sure he'll appreciate you telling him.

  • The answer is simple. You either tell him or get someone else to do it for you. Bottom line is get it done. As far as you saying you didn't like him, he will understand just tell him you were on the spot and you were not prepared to let him know the real answer.

    • True. That makes sense. I'm pretty sure one of his friends figured it out. He knows the possibility is there. Both of his parents have actually basically yelled at us for not dating yet and everyone we know has asked if we are already dating... I feel like i need that friend to ask me about it, not just him and maybe she can tell him for me... it's still just scary lol

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    • I'm not sure i see what you mean by legality and serious trouble? The is nothing illegal about any of this... I totally thought about sending him a message lol. Well. Just with the i lied part and make him interpret it. More subtle that way but I don't know if he'd figure it out...

    • Do it send him a message that says I lied. That will open the door for that conversation to happen. Then when he ask you what you lied about, ask him does he recall the question that he asked you if you liked him, he will quickly get the idea.

  • us guys are oblivious to simple signs that women dub as complex =, we simply dont realise them
    just tel the dude that you like him
    you never know he might like you as well

  • You say you cannot imagine ever not having him in your life. However, if you eventually get a boyfriend it won't be fair to him that you are carrying a torch for someone else. If you are in love with your friend you aren't just going to fall out of love with him.

    So what do you do? Not tell him and always pine for him? Do that and you'll never be happy in a different relationship. At least not 100% happy because you will be holding back somewhat.

    Even if you tell him and you both lose the friendship at least you can move on with life. It would give you closure on the situation.

    Don't tell him then you'll never know if he felt the same and you'll always wonder and never have closure.

    So tell him that you are starting to develop feelings for him. You don't need to say how much but you can ask him how he feels about that. What do you want to bet that one minute later he'll be kissing you. :)

    • I'm just a kinda shy person so I can't imagine just blurting it out. All your reasons make sense which is exactly why I think i need to tell him. Especially since I could never imagine liking someone else (so the case of dating someone else wouldn't be an issue because I couldn't lead someone on like that) but I need a way to subtly say it. Or just be super drunk... which probably wouldn't be best

    • This is your life. It's no time to be shy. You're just going to have to take a deep breath and do it. It literally could shape your future. Imagine if you wait longer and he gets involved with some other girl. He then brings her over all the time and you just have to suffer in silence. If that happens you'll kick yourself for letting shyness control your life.

    • Yeah exactly. I dont think i could manage if he were dating someone. I get jealous pretty easily even if he says someone is good looking or something. I feel like I'm just too self conscious. I need to just say it. I've contemplated it before but every time I almost do a lump just forms in my throat and no words. I almost said yes when he initially asked if I liked him but the no came out so instinctively fast I couldnt.

  • Here are your choices:

    A. You don't tell him you'll lose him. (U already said you didn't like him so he isn't going to initiate)

    B. You tell him and he rejects you, well, same result as A.

    Either way, ball is in your court. B is only option left.


What Girls Said 2

  • It is important that you do sit down with him and talk about how each of you feel. Not just your feelings, but ask him how he feels or what he is thinking. From this conversation, I think you might be able to gauge if you should tell him how you feel at this point or maybe you need some time to think about what was said in order to make the conversation one that you can walk away feeling good about.

    Good Luck!

    • so wait, if we have a conversation about our feelings like this isn't that just saying I like him anyways, I don't see what I would be having to gauge at this point.

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