I am seeing this guy for a couple of months now and things are going great. We have spent so much time together, talked about everything under the sun and so he begins asking the question... The question being 'When are you going to tell me?'
What he is referring to is the word love. He is asking when I am going to tell him that I love him. One of the conversations we have had is about this statement. I have told him that I am not going to say those words to him because of the same reason, he probably wouldn't want to say this first either, rejection.
So he knows where I stand, essentially, why does he keep asking for me to say it?
Well, when you love someone, it is pretty effortless. It is true and pure – you don’t need them to be any certain way. Heck, you don’t even need them to be your boyfriend or lover. You just simply enjoy them as a person and you’re happy with them just being who they are. You don’t need to possess them. You don’t need a title from them. You just love having them in your life and they love being in yours, whether it’s as friends, as lovers,
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Well I had this discussion with the woman I am with now. Initially I told her I would never say "I love you" first because I was worried that if I say it, and she is not feeling the same, then she will want to end things because she is too uncomfortable. but in the end I did tell her I love her even though I know she is not at that point yet. But I had my reasons. I wanted her to understand where she sits with me. and because I have a higher definition of "I love you" then most (my therapist and I have argued about it a few times), and she knows this, It let her know just how strongly I felt.
but I have told her i don't want to hear the words until they are true feelings.
So just tell him that. You don't want to say them just to say them. That you will only tell him that if it is true.0