How come I can never get a date?

The last 8 years of my life I seem to not be able to date. More than once women told me I am good looking. I get looks from women while walking down the street, in the club, in the supermarket.

I have no problem talking to people. Most of the time people tell me their entire life story within 5 minutes. I have good friendships with men and women. In general people like me and trust me.

Women ask me how many women I am dating right now. Guys try to stay around me because they think I am going to attract a lot of women. Women will come but my friends are the ones walking away with them.

In three years time I've had three dates. All of them terrible. My females friends sometimes tell me that some girl is looking at me. When I approach her even before I say anything they reject me very rudely. Last week at a party of a friend of mine I approached a woman. She wanted nothing to do with me. But a few days later I hear from her friends that she really liked me and was asking about me. I tried contacting her but she still doesn't want to talk to me. I had women come on to me, make a date with me and then flake. I tried online dating for several months now but I don't get a single reply.

I feel really bad, depressed and lonely now. Most of my female friends don't believe me. Sometimes I get told that some day I'll meet that special someone but what if she rejects me also. And I feel I deserve a normal dating life just like everybody else. I would love to meet some intelligent women and get to know them. Just as my friends are able to do.

I just don't understand it any more. I try and I try. It cannot be them. It must be something I am doing. Any thoughts would be very appreciated.


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What Girls Said 2

  • I think the issue is your attitude and potential lack of insight.

    You have to keep in mind that just getting looks from girls doesn't automatically make you dating material; you need to hyper focus on your behavior, because more than likely, the personality your presenting could very well be what is turning them off, especially if you have an air of bitterness or lack of confidence.

    You also need to get the idea out of your head that you deserve this dating like that "everyone else has"; we're adults, let's be real, there is no status quo for a normal dating life, it's different for everyone. You also don't just "deserve" to have something, especially when it comes to intimacy. It's something that can only be earned when the person is willing and receptive, otherwise you may as well be saying: women should just date me because.

    Ask your friends for some analyzing of how you behave around women, especially female friends. Try to figure out what your approach is and change it up, eventually, something has to give.

    • Your reply gave me stuff to think about. So thank you.
      I do want to say that I understand about the looks. It was just to indicate that women do see me and that my looks are not the problem. So something in my personality has to be the cause of it all.

    • I'm glad you found it helpful.

  • You might be coming across as desperate or creepy.

    • I did think about this. I never saw myself as creepy. But then again I cannot see myself as how another person sees me so maybe you're right.

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