Is there a point to being chivalrous any more?

In all honesty I'm starting to believe there isn't a point to it, or rather more likely that I just attract the kind of women who take advantage of my chivalrous nature, before leaving me in the dust. It's been a long ride, so just trying to see where women and guys stand on this subject I suppose.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • IMHO, You gotta be a gentleman. But at the same time, some things are obsolete. Like if you get behind a girl to help her with her coat she'll probably wonder what the hell you're doing. But I always open doors for girls, offer to pay, etc. But be a gentleman, someone who can protect and man up, but gives respect to everyone and makes everyone feel uplifted after they meet you.

    But don't mistake being a gentleman for being a "nice guy" or a pushover. Testosterone doesn't equate to being a pushover-nice guy. I'll destroy any mother fucker that does anything to my girl. It's like the new-age-gentleman.

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What Girls Said 2

  • what do you think not being chivalrous means

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    • No longer doing the things I used to for women, and just treating them like everyone else, ie: the way others treat others, if you don't have an umbrella, don't share it, if someone is down don't lend them your shoulder, let people defend themselves since it is their fight to handle.

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    • oh, so you were with her for three years? then she broke up w/ you? that's what you're talking about? dude that's like, a long relationship.

    • No, that's where it gets fk'd up, she didn't even break up with me, she just cut all forms of contact with me, and is currently living with said guy she was talking to while dating me. Only can call it a break up if both people are present to the party, I was worried about her, but no one would tell me anything, until her friend finally told me a month after she poof'd. So yeah... definitely used huh? haha

  • What type of chivalrous acts do you carry out?

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    • Opening doors, defending women who were getting screamed at by her abusive boyfriend at the time, which in all honesty probably was a mistake since she then claimed to like me, which resulted in my being used, after I ignored a email from said ex bf saying to watch out for her.

    • I think those are things that you should do for anyone, not just women in hopes of getting something out of it. When I was in high school, this guy liked me and he would always open the door for me, etc. I thanked him, but I always rolled my eyes when he wasn't looking cause it was obvious that he was doing all that stuff only cause he liked me. In college, I don't mind cause you can see guys holding doors for many people and I'm a stranger, so obviously they don't want something in return. I don't know about other girls, but I end up hating a guy even more when his actions don't seem sincere. Yours obviously are not. This stuff that you listed isn't something that you should hope to get something out of. These are things that even I would do. If you were saying that women use you for your money or whatever, I would tell you to stop paying for them cause they would obviously be using you.

    • Yup she definitely used me alright, got what she wanted, and vanishd without a trace, she's currently on her next mark, who like me didn't listen when I tried to warn him, simply saying I am jealous that she wanted to upgrade..

What Guys Said 2

  • You can still be chivalrous without being a pushover. It's just a matter of more or less making the choice to not be their door mat. If they take advantage of you, and if you catch it, or use you somehow, Kick them to the curb. I look at it as a process of elimination really. What you have dealt with so far, You can mark those off the list of possibilities. The loss is not with you.

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  • I used to open doors for women but I don't anymore. Now I do it for everyone. Lol when women don't even have the decency to say thank you and just give a look. Next time that happens I'm gonna be like "you're welcome!"

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    • Oh I have done that too, the look she gave me when I said it was funny, her friend though said "thank you very much".

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