It just somehow freaks me out when they are so into me that early on because they don't know me at all, and I know we're probably both up for a huge disappointment. So at that stage, I am a bit distant and don't show too much interest, while the guys court me pretty nicely. But then, later on, when I know the guy enough and start to actually like him, and show him that I like him, I don't know, it's not even a power-shift, it's like they totally lose interest. Basically from one day to another. They stop texting and calling and don't wanna hang out anymore.
FYI I didn't sleep with any of those guys, so it's not like they just like the chase and leave when they got what they wanted.
I just don't get it. I mean, I may not be as special as they think at the beginning, but I am still a fairly nice, funny, smart and caring person (at least my friends say so). I'm not clingy and don't ask for commitment or anything, so I just don't understand why they don't wanna date me anymore as soon as I like them.
And it just hurts. I keep my guard up for so long, and the moment I let it down and develop feelings, they decide to leave. Would they leave sooner, it wouldn't hurt, but they wait till that moment when it does hurt. Why?
Most Helpful Guy
LOL I'm one of those guys I do it because I'm desperate for love and I'm scared I won't ever find love so I try my best with every girl and say those things so we can love each other more than any thing and any one else in the universe I mean like why are we talking if we don't like each other might as well strengthen the bond you attracted me an you were attracted to me so lets make something happen.
Most Helpful Girl
You say it is a pattern, about how many dates into this are you when they lose interest?
If they are coming on strong like that out of the gate, no sex then they eventually go?
If a guy likes you but has been on the dating scene a while they tend to only be patient for so long then give up if you aren't opening up after 5 dates or more (if they like you).
I'm weary of any guy who is overly excited halfway through the first date. Whatever their excitement is based on is rarely based on reality and often superficial attributes like looks and a good job. It's often a sign of instability. I do not arrange second dates with these men but am polite. They my text for a few weeks despite no response confirming my decision to steer clear.
When I go on really good first dates I think we both feel a bit of a glow/ smile but you don't jump into how great the other person is and plan for the future other than lets do this again.