How can I cool and casually ask him what we are?

I dont want to come off as clingy, pushy or annoying
We have been out on a few dates, have been hanging out, hooking up and talking for almost 3 and a half months now. But the problem is that over those last 3 months we have been far from eachother because I'm away at school, about two hours away, but now I'm moving back to the city where he is in a week so we are going to be close by. I also asked him what he thinks about me a few weeks ago and he said that he thinks I'm a cool girl to hangout with and thinks we really hit it off. I have really started liking him and I would like to see where things could go. But I dont know if we have spent enough time for me to ask what we are. He just told me he misses having me in town and planned a date for us the day Im home


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What Guys Said 1


    Also, where are we? DTL! DTL! DTL!


What Girls Said 1

  • Broach the issue clearly. It’s too vague to ask, “So what’s happening with this relationship?” Be as direct as possible. Chances are you want to know if you’ve crossed the boundary from “going out informally” to “dating exclusively.” If you feel ready to stop dating other people, that is an appropriate time to ask if your partner is ready to do the same.

    Choose the right situation. Probing each other’s feelings can be intense, so be careful about when and where you talk. Pick a private place where thoughts and feelings can be expressed without being on public display. Initiating the conversation in a crowded coffee shop, or at lunch when she has to go back to work, isn’t the best idea.

    Don’t panic if the response isn’t exactly what you want. The other person may not be prepared to give a definitive affirmation of undying love and fidelity. If that’s the case, don’t assume complete rejection. Be prepared to listen to your partner’s reply and to discuss it. However, avoid getting into a debate. If you find yourself arguing for more than your partner is ready to give, you are pushing too hard.

    Allow for space. Don’t demand an immediate answer. Sometimes when people feel pressure to respond, they get flustered. Their mind and emotions start spinning too fast for words to make sense. Take the pressure off by suggesting some time to think it over and a follow-up discussion.


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