Can someone give me advice on how to avoid my stupidity?

When i was younger i was very mature for my age. I started dating this guy, he was a few months older than me. He was a, how do i describe this in a nice way, he didn't care about a lot of stuff, he was a stoner with messy hair, he never payed attention in school, he got bad grades, even though he was actually really smart, but i always saw good in him. We ended up in a funk and decided to split because im known as a good girl. A year later i started my Freshman year of high school, im still attending now, i developed a crush on this guy. I ended up telling him and him and i got along extremely well. Him and i were inseparable because we made each other laugh. We really were infatuated with each other. But not in love. I ended up finally realizing that he is just like my ex. The same exact characteristics and personality. I can't believe I fell for the same exact guy. Why can't i fall for someone who isn't like the way they are. I feel like im extremely idiotic, i find it difficult for me to find a good guy who cares about certain things. Like, im fine with the stoner thing, i was a stoner, no it didn't make me cool it was just stupid and im not gonna be mean/mad over bs like that. I'm just upset because my ex and i fell apart and i dont wanna take that risk with my new guy. Why is it so hard for me to just find a decent guy with the same interests as me but isn't like any of the guys i want right now. Will i ever get out of this way of me thinking. Its so strange to me because im like IN LOVE with Ed Sheeran, a British singer, he's a soft spoken person who is amazing and i have loved him since i was 11 years old. He's what i really want in a guy but its not like im gonna meet him tomorrow and he's going to fall in love with me. But i want a guy who is nothing like my ex. But thats who i always fall for. How come when i crush on guys i know im never going to be with they're always tender loving and caring. But when i crush on guys i actually get with, they're my ex.


Most Helpful Guy

  • "When i was younger i was very mature for my age."

    You're 14. "Very mature for my age" means you acted 14. You just caught up.

    • Honestly, that really offends me. I asked for your help not your criticism. I'm sorry I'm not 19. Ill be 15 in May if that makes you happier.

    • Show All
    • It's not even yours. You don't own anything here. GAG owns it. They own your question, your account, the very notion that you are an intelligent, sentient, and functional creature; it's all theirs, so long as you are logged in.

      Why do I say that? Because you are young. You are emotional. You are stupid.

      Good day!

    • No you're actually pretty stupid for picking a fight with a 14 year old girl.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I'll be honest... Your best bet would be just relax on the whole dating thing. I won't judge anyone who says they are mature for their age, but if you are don't you think you should surround yourself with peers that'll bring the best out of you not the worse? The peers that'll have you focus on on school and a successful future rather than hanging around, boys who "don't care about much." If you want better you have to be better. And if you want great you can't expect it to fall in your lap, you have to be great. There's no guideline saying you have to date at 14, focus on you. That's the best you can do to avoid your past mistakes. Learn from them.


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What Guys Said 1

  • you're 14... Just chill.
    You've never actually met ed Sheeran so you don't like his personality, you like te idea of being with him
    So 2 out of the 2 guys you've dated had the same personality? Maybe because they're both stoners. It's not like EVERY guy you're attracted to is a clone of this first dude


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