How can someone feel cheated on when I'm not even his gf?

All I did was double date for nearly two months. Only thing I didn't do is simply not tell neither I'm double dating and just went along with the separate schedules and trying not to make it obvious.

But one of the guys found out and felt cheated on and so his time wasted. I don't know why. I'm not his gf and so that makes me less responsible for feelings getting hurt.

But either way, I already start distancing myself when someone wants to get too serious (even if I might like him a lot... but I don't let it go deeper). So back to my point. If I'm not in a relationship then it's not cheating and so I don't have to worry too much.
Nope, this isn't the first time I've done this. Usually if it's over and it doesn't get to relationship status (mainly because I don't to and that'll take over all the fun), I'll just made up a reason such as school, family issues, etc. I only disappear with no explanation if I truly don't like the guy.


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What Guys Said 1

  • A few things first you need to understand everyone is different. Many people have a concept of exclusivity from the moment of the first date with them until you stop dating. It sounds and actually may be a little old fashioned but its what they prefer based on their morals and life style choices. I am guessing that is why he felt hurt. I use to be this way and was actually shocked and extremely angry the first time I met a girl who was not and wanted to date around until she was sure. Just understanding that he simple has a different point of view is all you need to do.

    Also depending on how long, how many dates, and how much interest (texts, calls) that you were showing this guy he may have just assumed you were getting to or at the point of being exclusive. Many couples never sit down and have the "are we exclusive" talk, they just simply assume they are at some point. Two months is a pretty long time and probably pushing into that area. Also a few dates with 2 separate guys is not bad but doing it for 2 months straight is playing both sides of the fence and would probably rub a lot of people the wrong way. If you were dating several guys over that period you would at least be making choices. But what you are doing is simply stringing these two along with no intent of choosing and that is going to come off to them as hurtful. Especially when you sound like you were hiding it from them. If you have to hide or avoid a topic when dating you are doing something bad.

    Try to see it from their point of view. I know its hard since that is how you want to date. But just try and be more open and honest in the future. Let the guys know straight out that its not going to be exclusive and you may be dating others. Its their life to and they should know the totality of the situation and be allowed to make a choice.


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