Guys, when we get close he backs away again, why?

we have an on/off relationship. whenever we get close again for a while things are great and then he just breaks all form of contact out of nowhere. and if i contact him he doesn't call back or text back. if he does say anything regarding his disappearance he will say he's frustrated. but doesn't provide any more detail.

Why does he do this? Any other guys do this?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds like he's just using you to get his rocks off and when he's done for a while, he goes back into the wilderness to hibernate or fling with someone else.

    To me, you have an off again relationship that should just stay off. I'd even recommend you cut the power completely, since all your'e going to do is get together with him when he calls, buy his bullshit stories about why he was so distant and then discover he's off and away, giving you many days of silence.

    Do you really want that in a relationship? I hope not.

    But to answer your other question, both guys and girls do it, and unfortunately it's pretty common.

    • thanks for the advice :) Its sad that its common. What confuses me is that i'm not sleeping with him so i don't even know why he comes back. I've already made it clear that i won't cross any sexual lines unless we are consistent. But now after reading your response its possible that he's sleeping with someone else and thats why he goes distant.

      You are right, this isn't the type of relationship i want. I thought i was doing something that made him run away and didn't know it. Thank you for clearing it up for me, you've saved me heartache in future

    • You sure seem like a bright, levelheaded and rational woman, so I'm sure he's probably also intimidated by your ability to use your brain and think logically.

      I'm glad you're not going back and forth with this guy, and have realized you can just put him in the archives of your memory and look ahead to whatever happens next (not with that dude involved, obviously).

      I'm glad my advice could be of some help, and I wish you the best of luck. I think good things are in store for you as long as you trust your instincts and continue to cultivate and respect your personal boundaries.

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What Guys Said 4

  • He does it because he gets lonely, then he gets with you and he isn't lonely for a while. Yeah, other guys do it. It's called gaslighting. I suggest you turn this relationship permanently off so you can find someone who will be permanently on.

  • He probably has something holding him back from being with you. Like a fear of probably being hurt really bad or cheated on or not ready to be in a committed relationship.

  • he ain't ready for no relationship. Let him be free.

  • I think he is using you. Because my ex is having the same problem with her bf. Sorry to put it so bluntly

    • I appreciate the honest, thanks! no need to say sorry, I've come to the same realization

    • So are you coming back in to the single world x

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