I seem to encounter this problem frequently in online dating. I've met several guys who have lived 3-5 hours away from me (by car) and often they are the ones who contact me first. They say they're looking for something serious, distance doesn't bother them... then POOF! They cut contact after a couple months, or say they don't want something long distance.
If they don't really know what they want or what they're willing/able to put up with, why do they bother contacting people who don't live near them? Why don't they just change their distance settings or something simple like that?
Most Helpful Guy
Speaking as a man who dated online, it is entirely normal to adjust your distance setting one position less restrictive than your actual preference.
For me the ideal was within 50 miles of my address. That covered nearly the whole metro area but here is the issue: How sad would it be if the girl for me lived 52 miles away? Would 2 miles really matter in the scheme of things? Yes, if the computer never makes the match in the first place.
So I set my distance setting at 150 miles radius. Most of the women matched at long distance I never entered into more than online communication with. There was one woman that was a long drive from me that I did seriously see for a short time. I did tell her that if we were to remain together, she would have to relocate because her profession gave her the option but mine did not.
As it happened, the woman I married lived only 17 minutes from my home. So the less restrictive setting for distance was moot. It was still a good strategy.0