I went on a first date tonight with a guy I met online. We met at a bar, and in total the date lasted for 1.5 hours (until 11pm) I really enjoyed his company and he seemed to truly enjoy mine as he was laughing and the conversation was flowing easily. We had things to talk about. I really felt we had a connection. However, there was no overt flirtation or compliments.
As we were at a bar, he ordered a glass of wine for each of us, and when we finished he didn't order another or ask if I wanted one. We just sat for a half hour drinking nothing and talking, which I found odd and kind of rude of him not to offer. There was an empty water container at the table which he didn't ask to refill when I had been drinking a lot of water. When I came out of the bathroom for the second time, I discovered that he had paid the check and had his coat on ready to leave, saying it was a "school night" and he had work in the morning. When we walked out, I believe he was planning on just walking away until I stopped. At that point he gave me a very distant hug and said "Good meeting you, take care." I'm just really confused because why was he acting like he enjoyed himself the whole date (laughing, engaging in discussion, even staying 1.5 hours) if he didn't?
I feel so embarrassed by this apparent blow off and am left wondering what I did wrong on the date.
Most Helpful Guy
Some people are good conversationalists; their ability to carry on conversation has nothing to do with any emotional or romantic interest in the other person.
In the bigger scheme of things I'd say he did the bare minimum that was required to call it a date.
As for alternative ideas, you say he was ready to leave when you came out of the bathroom the second time. Maybe, despite his ability to engage in conversation, he lacks confidence and decided you were using your bathroom trips to text your friends about how awful he was, or read it as you wanting to take off. Maybe he thought coming up with an excuse to leave ("school night") was doing you a favor by not having to make you come up with one yourself.
Honestly, there are guys who are really paranoid about coming on too strong, especially if they lack confidence. They fear the "Ew!!!" look many guys are intimately familiar with, the girl pulling her hand away when they touch it, a non-reciprocated hug, etc. Their strategy is to seem like a decent person to spend time with first, and then develop intimacy if you show you're interested. In the internet dating world where a lot of women demand to feel "sparks" immediately, it's not a great strategy, but it's what some guys are comfortable with.0THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
Most Helpful Girl
Probably not getting a second date. That's really odd.0THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE