Girls, what do you want in a man when it comes to first impressions, dating, and long relationships?

Hi girls. This is my first post on here so I would like to ask you, what do you find most attractive in a guy? Looks, or confidence (or something else)? Cheers,



Most Helpful Girl

  • Looks do matter, no matter what anyone says. To some extent I need to find you personally attractive. But the good thing is that attraction is subjective - what I'm attracted to is not what the next girl is attracted to. Also, physical attraction can grow over time.

    Second, confidence. Guys who aren't scared to flirt, make jokes, put themselves out there a bit. Self-deprecating humour stemming from self-confidence rather than low self-esteem is also cute.

    Treatment of me and others. Just be a kind person, to put it simply. But don't overdo it. I like someone easygoing and who isn't overly concerned with making everyone like or approve of him. Just try to treat everyone right. Be friendly.

    • Hit the nail on the head there jenhil, thanks for the comment :D

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What Girls Said 6

  • Hi, @Jared.

    Women are looking for the Total Package. What I might find important may not be the same as what someone else finds important. My tastes have also changed as I have gotten older.

    For me, the Total Package is a balance of looks, confidence, intelligence, compassion and sense of humor. As I have gotten older I find a man's social stature ( money and power) is not important at all. When I was younger I placed a higher value on looks. Now, looks do count but not as heavily as they once did.

    We are all looking for our own Total Package, but what makes this is different for every girl and can even change throughout her life as she gains life experience and catalogs her dating successes and failures.

    First impression: does he make me laugh? Is he real or phony? Is he kind? Am I attracted to him? Is he intelligent?

    Relationship and dating: Does he make me a priority in his life? Are we sexually compatible? Can we live with each other's flaws and shortcomings? Is there trust and respect? Am I still attracted to him if he is in sweats with bedhead and morning breath?

    Not sure if this helped or confused you more!

    • I agree 100% with everything you said !

    • Hi Becca,
      Really appreciate the opinion of a woman your age! I think guys can learn so much more from you all. I'm of the opinion from experience that most women are looking for older guys because of their maturity. I'm very rarely successful in dating with older women, I think because I look a lot younger than 25 and do sometimes lapse on the maturity bit :P. I ask you, what do you think? Does age play a part for you as well when it comes to dating? Thanks :)

  • For a first impression, I would be interested in a guy who dresses well and shows that he was interested enough that he put a nice outfit together to try to impress me. Don't be like some dudes that are like "eh whatever, it's just some chick".
    Also, one thing that totally wins me over is when the guy is the type that smiles a lot. He shows confidence and is sure of who he is. A genuine smile can easily cover up any physical flaw. :)
    Also for me, a guy has to be honest (especially for a first impression). One thing that offends me is when dudes try flirting with ladies they don't even know enough to be interested in them, and often leads to emotions created that were never intended to be. The girls end up heartbroken and depressed and the dudes are like "well I never liked you" and then go around trying to get at other girls lol...
    be a gentleman and treat a girl well, give her an honest compliment if she looks pretty or nice (don't be rude or blunt if she doesnt), don't make her believe things that are not there lol... if you think she's interested, and if you're interested, then let her know.

    • Thank you for your opinion GinaTina. I agree that guys do have to go through some efforts to look presentable physically when they are out. Smiles are the toughest things for so many guys to do (myself included) though I get it has power. Sometimes I'm smiling when joking around with friends that I involuntarily catch some looks. Powerful stuff (smiling as I'm writing this haha). I think when you mean a guy who just tries flirting, you are talking about a commonly known Pickup Artist. These are pretty much guys who think they have to put on a sleazy persona to get a girl attracted, if only for the night and for self-validation. I've met and learnt from some I'll admit, it was bloody awful. Cheers again :)

  • If he is genuine and a nice person that is key. Having the same familial values and faith are also important for me. That to me is most attractive. Looks play a part but I would say but its only minor.

  • For me, a sense a humor is a must. A guy that can make me laugh is a keeper

  • Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, and Reverent.

  • Mostly the way he treats me and makes me feel will determine if I wanna stay with him. But other things like his personality, values, job, etc are important too.


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