Is letting a guy know that im not controlling him and that cheating on me wouldn't matter to me push him away?

I like to give people a sense of freedom i dont get jealous and i dont spend my whole night thinking about a guy i like. I like to focus on what i could put in a relationship not what i get out of it but i dont know if he understans that😣😣😣😣😳


Most Helpful Guy

  • If you are framing it in a way that sets up an open relationship or a polyamorous situation, then that would be fine. A guy wired for monogamy, that is just looking for an exclusive, monogamous relationship, is probably going to be confused by that kind of thought pattern and find it alarming.

    People wired for monogamy have a very hard time understanding brains that can compartmentalize like that. They tend to assume it is because of a lack of care when it is often because of an actual desire to care unconditionally.

    So... the answer will depend on the guy.


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What Guys Said 4

  • I don't need a girl to say she's not the controlling type i'll just feel it in the relationship. as for the not caring about cheating. I'd be cool with your security but I'd be concerned that it meant 1. you don't care enough about the relationship OR 2. you may cheat yourself.

    • Holy shit we wrote the same thing with completely different wording, high 5.

    • Uggh so what if i said that im not the cheating type but if i ever caught feelings for some else i would let him know and that i do care bout the relationship would that make him comfortable?

    • I'm just letting you know my opinion. I think it's great if you are confident enough to have an open relationship, but it doesn't work for me.

      If my gf told me she's ok with me cheating but made it crystal clear that she wasn't going to cheat I'd say, "well thanks but you don't have to worry about me hooking up with anyone else. I'm with you."

  • Yeah you're gonna want to not tell him that. Firstly it's pretty much guaranteed to make him feel like you don't value the relationship or care about him enough, and second it might make him think you will cheat on him because you think it's not a big deal.

    There is nothing you can say to make him understand you and how you feel, words are really shit at that. That's why we spend time with the people we care about, so we can learn this stuff.

    • Thanks tht made a lot of sense so i shud just let him feel out my point of view as time passes not all at just one shot right?

  • You are letting a guy, whom you are in a relationship with, know that if he cheats on you it wouldn't matter? Did I get that right?

    • Yes.. i mean it in a way that i wouldn't care IF he did because it doesn't concern me im thinking of myself not the other person. If he cheats because he was attracted to another female it wouldn't get me upset unless he's doing it for stupid reasons like to get me jealous or something

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    • you're limiting yourself to see only your own perspective but its fine have a good day πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰πŸ˜˜and p. s. lmao there was no truth to what you guessed about my relationship stop being judgmental your life would go smoother and when i put "this " up it means i dont believe in MISTAKES ONLY GROWTH !!✌✌

    • Have fun with that.

  • I wouldn't like to hear that from a girlfriend


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