He doesn't want a relationship, but he doesn't want us seeing other people either... what?

I don't get that. He clearly likes me and wants me in his life. If we're not in a relationship though... then what's the point in being monagmous? I really like him, and was hoping he'd want to be my boyfriend (which he is in pretty much everything but name)... It's like he wants a girlfriend without the label, and I want more than that.

However, there are other guys interested in me, and I don't think it makes sense to be monogamous with someone who doesn't want or isn't ready for a relationship, when I could be dating other guys and finding the relationship I want instead, right?


Most Helpful Guy

  • There is zero point in being monogamous with someone that doesn't want a relationship. If he doesn't want a relationship with you, he cannot 'reserve' you and keep you on the shelf in case he changes his mind later.

    If he won't make you his 'official', exclusive girlfriend, then date other guys. You need to take care of your own emotional needs and future happiness. Sitting around hoping a guy changes his mind rarely ends well. It generally ends when the guy finds a different girl that he DOES suddenly decide to be in a relationship with, and girl #1 ends up feeling furious and betrayed because she was waiting around all that time only for him to leave her later.

    Be up front about it. Tell him you need to be in a 'real' relationship or you can't be monogamous. He can make his choice, and live with the consequences.

    • Thank you, that's a great answer. Resonates with me a lot. I appreciate it!

    • You're very welcome. Good luck :)

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  • No, fuck that, just go with other guys.


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