What is abuse, really?

Is it ever okay for someone to throw and break things? Is it okay for them to call you names and say hurtful things? How much of this behaviour do you excuse from someone because you love them? Is it ever acceptable? I feel like my boyfriend is two different people.

I have hit him before, three times to be exact, so I feel like I deserve it anyway. Not until after he had called me names (the c-word) or broken something, but that doesn't excuse it at all. He forgives me and says he understands why I would do that, because he was pushing me, but I'm ashamed I let him get me so incredibly upset.

I'm so lost. I'm not a fun person to be with because I'm depressed to begin with but I don't think these things are really justifiable even so. I know I'm frustrating cause I frustrate myself but if he really loved me would this be happening? I just don't know if I'm making a big deal out of everything when I should just ignore his freakouts and focus on when he is nice to me. How many times do I let it go before it isn't just being grumpy and it becomes abuse?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Get out of the relationship. You're both abusive to one another and it's not helping either of you to stay together.

    It's not a matter of loving one another or going through some mental challenges. Sometimes people are just really bad for one another at certain points. This is one of those points. Get out of it and let it go.


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What Girls Said 2

  • If he's throwing and breaking things and calling you names then you're abusing each other. It's not a healthy relationship you guys need to break up. And you need to tell him that his ass needs to take some of the blame here too he sounds like quite the winner 😒

  • Why the fuck are you with him? Yes, he's abusive. That doesn't cure depression by the way. Js.


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