Why do people act this way after rejecting you, then wanting to be friends?

Common scenario: Person makes advances... wants to date a person. Person making advances gets rejected (sometimes quite brutally so), then rejector wants to be friends. The rejectee has no desire to be friends, then the rejector gets angry with the rejectee. It's as though the rejector is now making demands and getting upset because they're not getting what THEY want with no consideration of the feelings of the rejectee What dafuq is that about?


Most Helpful Girl

  • it really depends, reasons may vary from case to case.
    if person A and person B started off their relationship just as friends, it's pretty normal for the rejector to feel upset if the other party suggested they were really after something more (sexual), and they even refuse to stay friends when the reply to the romantic/sexual advance id 'no, thanks'. it's a bit like being betrayed, when you just wanted a friend while the other person *pretended* to be friends to just get in your pants.

    if person A and person B start interacting from scratch, and the first approach is a date-proposal, then yeah it makes perfect sense to refuse to 'be friends' with someone who doesn't want us as lovers - because what we want from each other is not the same thing, and final goals collide.

    also, not all romantic/sexual relationships can turn into friendships, after they end, for the same exact reason. if someone who brutally dumped me (and who was NOT my friend before we started dating) proceeded to ask me to 'stay friends', well fuck off. that's power hunger and manipulation indeed.


Most Helpful Guy

  • . Copy paste coming but my answer was about FRIENDZONING... but the sames rules apply it's about POWER, CONTROL and oh yeah and a EGO BOOST for the rejector/friendzoner

    "What be messing me up is when Those girls decide to say something similar to "why don't/can't we be "FRIENDS" OR "Why don't you talk to me anymore" -_-

    Like umm why in the world would I be friends with someone I found to be attractive? Seems that Friendzoner JUST WANTS to be DICK/have power over the friendzonee more times than not to pad their own ego sometimes LOL.

    So why not just simply quit being FRIENDS with them in the 1st place? is what I always say. So either she gone be MINE or NOTHING at all in my mind LOL " i1127.photobucket.com/.../...f.com-add-text_15.gif

    • Amen!

    • Copy paste of mine incoming, but my answer was about FRIENDZONING, but the same rules apply since it's about POWER, CONTROL and oh yeah and a EGO BOOST for the rejector/friendzone *

    • @Asker there's your BEST ANSWER (Not floating my own boat LOL) screw what the other GAGers are going to say. Since they'll probably give you that generic BS as they usually do #NeverFails LOL.

      Knowing damn well it's BS or should I say NOT REAL LIFE ADVICE LOLOL. If __ wants to be friends after they've rejected it's a good chance (70%+) that they want to use you for something or somehow.

      Most likely it's to complain about what their crush did to them, small talk, candy, to use you OR ya know, keep you as the BACK UP for when things go south with somebody they've always wanted ETC.

      MAN this could go on for ever. But at your age im sure you've seen what i'm talking about when it comes to this subject.

      If I rejected __- I WOULD NEVER TRY TO BE THEIR FRIEND... that's like INSULT to INJURY IMHO unless I wanted to hold power over them knowing damn well that they still liked me. So they'd probably do whatever it took to get with me, right?

      Evil people would use that to their advantage

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What Girls Said 1

  • I liked a guy a few years ago and I confessed to him, even though I am not interested in dating. He rejected me well... four times? But he's my close friend and we were never awkward even when it happened. It has been four years and our friendship is still strong, I never get why the rejected ones refuse to stay friends after the rejection, or the rejector.

    • If someone is rejected, why would they try to be friends? That makes no sense to me.

    • Maybe some people would still be friends after rejected just like me. Why wouldn't you? It's like arguing with your parents but you still love them.

    • Hmmm?

What Guys Said 2

  • This happens to me all the time:
    Her: I just want to be friends.
    Me: Well I don't so I'll see you around
    Her: I rejected you as a boyfriend not as a friend!!
    Her: Well f@#$ you too JERK!!


    • Show All
    • I completely agree!

    • Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with being her friend but most women say that they just want to be friends so they spare a guys feelings and that's just wrong. Glad I could help you should follow me and give me MHO

  • maybe the rejecter changed his/her mind and wants 2 b friends with the rejectee, and now the rejecter feels hurt that the rejectee refuses 2 b friends with him/her

    • The rejector needs a bit more empathy and understanding.

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