Getting mixed signals and I'm looking for opinons. Just friends?

I want to hear from guys mostly, but if any girls can offer some insight it's very welcome.

I knew a guy back in school a few years ago and we didn't talk much, but recently we've gotten in touch and we hit it off really well. I have some pretty strong feelings for him, but I'm getting some mixed signals from him.

- He texts me every day and we chat all day - even while he's at work - until he goes to bed.
- No flirting, no deep conversation, just chatting.
- He's asked me to go get drinks with him one-on-one
- He doesn't break the touch barrier except when opening doors, and to hug goodbye
- He texts me immediately after seeing me to say he had a good time and we keep texting until we both go to sleep
- He's very protective of his limited alone-time (he has roommates), but asks me to come over to watch movies.
- We ACTUALLY spend the whole time watching movies and playing video games.
- He doesn't sit close enough to touch, but close enough to accidentally touch. (I have a very wide personal bubble and because I like him, I'm very aware of his presence, so I figure just maybe his personal bubble is smaller or I'm just sensitive and/or hopeful?)
- Texts me to make sure I made it home safe (I live literally just two miles from him).

Relevant info: He isn't shy. He's not a flirt, but he does have a very large number of female friends. As far as I know, he doesn't talk to them (or anyone, really) as much as we talk.

I know I'm overthinking this, and I'll definitely try to talk to HIM about it (because he's the only one with the real answer), but if anyone could give me their opinion or offer some insight, I'd appreciate it. I really don't want to muck up our friendship because I'm reading too much into things.


Most Helpful Guy

  • People can be shy on different levels. Some people are very outgoing in friendships and social matters but shy with romance. Some people are good meeting members of the opposite sex, and getting to know them, but shy about exploring a physical relationship.

    Start giving him some signals. Set up a date where he will come to pick you up. When he arrives, you are finishing getting ready and ask for his help zipping up your dress. Very subtle! When you are talking to him, touch his arm or his shoulder. When you are walking side-by-side, rest your hand on the inside of his elbow. When he hugs you goodbye, pull your face back but keep your arms around him and look into his eyes. That should make him feel more comfortable with the idea of getting more physical, if that is what he wants.

    • I never considered different levels of shyness, and also thank you for the advice!

      I think the combination of what everyone said is exactly what I needed to hear: it's a friendship, with potential, dial up the flirtiness, but take it slow.

      Thank y'all very much. The insight and advice was much appreciated and very helpful.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • His personality sounds very similar to my own. If he is anything like I am he enjoys your company and would be afraid of a relationship, sex or whatever it is in between those things ruining the friendship. You sound like you got everything planned out and it sounds like a solid healthy plan. Overthinking is normal, it's why we are all her isn't it?

    Best luck to you

  • Based on what u said I think he like you. Maybe he just wanna take it slow since he still figuring out whether u like him b

    • This makes sense considering we only started talking again very recently. It just seems weird because I feel like most people my age try to rush things, you know? Thanks

What Girls Said 2

  • What I'm seeing is a very casual relationship. If you would have said flirting + deep conversation were there then maybe it would be a bit more.

    But I think if you keep hanging out with him and ask more about him when you are getting drinks, it might become a little more.

    I can say that he cares about you so just give it a bit of time

    • "Give it time," good advice for almost any situation. It's still really early, to be honest; I just developed feelings so quickly that it's making me kinda nervous and anxious. Perhaps the flirting and deep conversation will come later.
      Thanks for the response.

    • It's fine we've all been there hahahah! I was like that too! :D

  • I'd say just friends.

    • All written out, it does seem that way. With some potential though, I think.
      Thanks for the honesty

    • Sure thing.

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