Should I trust women (college-aged ones in particular) when it comes to intimate and sexual relationships?

After hearing a lot of false r@pe claims. I don't know if I can trust women in relationships anymore. I know that false r@pe claims are statistically very rare but there's always loop holes in our statistics (not saying that statistics aren't credible but they aren't always reliable). It's not to say that I don't care for r@pe victims or that I never take them seriously. I certainly do care about r@pe victims well-beings but I absolutely can't stand women who makes a huge mockery of real victims because a cousin of mine is a real r@pe victim herself.

I really don't want to risk having my life railroaded and then have the "r@pist" label thrown at my face for no reason.
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Most Helpful Girl

  • As long as you keep yourself out of sex scenarios where the girls have been drinking then I think you should be fine.

    If you're into the whole, go out-drink hookup culture than yes I'd be careful. I'd just avoid it all together if I was that worried.

    • I don't really go to many college parties but a few friends of mine often try to persuade me into coming to those parties. I honestly would never date party girl-types because of their lack of maturity and because they're the most likely women who would make false rape claims.

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    • I have nothing to hide at all but I'm just sick and tired of all the negativity I hear because I have more than enough stressful problems with my life. It's not to say that we shouldn't take action about rape victims but you're starting to treat me as if I do have something to hide and I'm a creep.

    • Lol yeah because your responses
      I assume actually I'm certain if you do this same type of thing with people they will look at you like what's with that guy "like a creep basically" because you're too worried
      You will fulfill your own worse night mare as being seen as a creep or rapist if you go around acting like this
      In fact you speak of not wanting negativity but your mind is so negative
      I really can't tell you anyway to help that

      Honestly even after that bad experience I had rape is still the last thing that comes to mind when I'm preparing for a party
      Nothing but clean- non negative thoughts

Most Helpful Guy

  • First off, I have the exact same fears. Especially with the way the modern feminist movement has turned into a Misandry movement. I look at it like this: you just have to really make sure you know the person. No one night stands etc. Be careful and go with your gut. If she seems like trouble she probably is.


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What Girls Said 6

  • She is more likely to be raped than you are to be falsely accused of rape at any point in this lifetime or even the next three lifetimes! She's taking a bigger risk by going out with you than you are going out with her.

    So while I understand that this is something that you are legitimately worried about. You need to start thinking are these feelings and thoughts logical and reasonable for the situation or are they unnecessarily exaggerated? If you're starting to think they're overblown then it's time to look into professional help. Anxiety is a scary thing and there's no reason it has to control your life this way.

  • whats funny is if you say r@pist out loud it sounds like Rat Piss

  • Just make sure to get active, enthusiastic and ongoing consent.

  • If anything, you could just take a lie detector test or something.

    • Lie detectors aren't always the most accurate technologies. Hence why we don't see detectives or police officers use it very much on their suspects.

  • I would avoid having sex with girls who've been drinking, or girls who are unstable, but other than that, no need to be paranoid about it. It's rare.

    I mean, with your reasoning, I should be a lot more worried and questioning about trusting men when it comes to intimate and sexual relationships as well, considering real rape in college is a lot more common than false rape claims. And I am careful, but I'm not looking at every guy like he's a potential rapist.

    • All of us men are always automatically treated like potential rapists/criminals because of our own gender and statistics anyway so I don't see your point.

    • Well, I don't. All I'm saying is that if false rape claims were rampant you might have a point, but they're not, so I think you're being excessively paranoid. Like I said though, if you avoid sleeping with girls drinking at frat parties and the like, and in general get to know someone before sleeping with them, you should be fine. You'll probably be fine anyway, but if you're really concerned, as a guy that's what I'd do.

  • Get her to sign a declaration saying she consents?

    • That's not helpful at all. That suggestion you gave me just causes me to lost even a little more faith in you ladies with very little effort that you put in your answer.

    • Well what are we supposed to say? you either have to trust girls that we're not going to do it, don't trust us and don't sleep with any girls, or do something ridiculous like get her to sign a consent form... You don't have very many actually helpful choices. You can be as careful as you want and you could still end up with some shitty girl who claims rape for attention.

What Guys Said 1

  • You're right to be paranoid... I'll tell you what I would do, I was interested with sex with college chicks... A carry a high fidelity pocket recorder with me all the time... Or I would click a whole lot of selfies with chicks before doing any sort of consensual hanky panky with them... Either way, It's unfortunate to have to distrust one's fellow humans this much but I think it's better to err on the side of caution


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