Would you ever date someone against your parents wishes?

If you really wanted to date someone, but your parents objected to it, would you still date them or no?

  • I would stop dating that person
    Vote A
  • I would still date that person
    Vote B
  • It really depends.. . and please expalin why
    Vote C
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and please if you can say how your relationship is with your parents. good? bad?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I have very strong feelings for someone who my family does not really approve of me wanting to be with. He has very strong feelings for me, but due to some reasons that I don't really care to explain at the moment we cannot be together. If it weren't for those reasons, I would be dating him even if my parents didn't want me to. They think I could do better and truthfully, I probably could, but I don't want anyone else but him. I don't really care what my parents/my family say. It's not that they dislike him, but they don't think he's the right guy for me. It's a long story, haha.

    Of course, my family, especially my mother, is very good at detecting things/certain traits on people I date. My last boyfriend was a terrible one and although my family did not tell me that they disapproved of him, I found out later after I broke up with him that my mother was not too pleased with him. I've begun to realize that my mother is usually right about her assumptions of people, especially guys that I date and I am a lot more open-minded to listening to what she has to say when it comes to guys that I date.

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What Girls Said 113

  • Yes, I would if I trust that person is good and really cares about me.
    My relationship with my parents are awesome. My parents still treat like a child though. Lol. But they are very cool. Don't mind if I date someone outside race and all. So, I doubt they'll have a problem with someone. Lol

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  • If I really cared about this person, and I feel like whatever he did or whatever I told my parents that made them dislike him, is willing to change, and make good with my parents, then I would try. At the end of the day, if you like that person, no one can dictate if you are going to date them or not. Even your parents. True it would be hard to have a relationship with someone if your parents or family wasn't on board with it... but people can grow and change if they choose to!

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    • Do you get along with your parents?

    • Very much so. I have a wonderful relationship with them. But if I wanted to date a guy that my parents didn't like, they couldn't forbid me... but they would want him to make good on everything. And I would expect him to make peace with my parents... if we were to continue dating.

  • The closest I ever came to this was in high school, my mom completely misjudged my boyfriend and really seemed to think he was a bad influence... I don't think she ever told me I couldn't see him or anything like that, but it was clear she didn't like him at all. It was a bit frustrating at times but I didn't let that affect our relationship, it took me forever to express my feelings to him and I wasn't about to let things end just because my mom was unhappy about it.

    I'd like to say that I wouldn't care what my parents thought, but that's the teenager in me talking. I think if the drama and their feelings were strong enough I would probably side with my family... they almost always know best.

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  • It depends on what their objection to the relationship is.

    My relationship with them is good so I trust their opinions.

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    • if one or both said or thought he was a loser? would you reconsider dating him?

    • I feel the same way!

    • Lmao my parents have far more substantial reasons. But no, I'd ignore them if they couldn't defend his "loserness." If they said he was an unsuccessful lowlife going nowhere in life then I'd listen and not date him. If all they said was that he were a loser then well, I'd give him a go.

  • The more my mother doesn't like someone..

    The more likely I am to stay with them lol

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    • Why do you hate your mom?

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    • Been there, lived that.

    • That's the case for everyone. People love pissing their parents off lol and doing opposite which is why there's people who even date interracial to piss off parents

  • It would depend on why they don't want us dating. There could be possible red flags that I am not seeing but as parents are seeing. But hypothetically it could be because of race (which wouldn't be a problem in my case but whatever) or they think we are getting attached to quick or something petty then I would date anyway. The thing is if they don't give me a good reason I'm not going to listen. I have a pretty great relationship with my dad and a mediocre relationship with my mom.

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  • My relationship with my parents are Ok, but they haven't shown a lot of responsibility and I had to learn everything by myself and the hard way.
    I would obviously not listen unless they have proof he is a criminal or else, if he disrespected my family that is good enough to dump him.

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  • I trust my parent's judgement. If they thought he was a loser, odds are I would probably have seen that and wouldn't be dating him in the first place...

    Good at reading people > so no problem with that.

    On the other hand, if it's about race or creed - then I'd stick with them no matter what. I know my parents will accept him in the end if their objections are solely based on those things - that don't define his character. =)

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  • My needs in a partner are not contingent upon the views of my parents. I wouldn't date someone to make them uncomfortable on purpose, however. I hate to say this but they aren't the best judges of character. Anytime there is too much ego invested in the life choices of your children, you aren't being fair towards them.

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  • It depends on the circumstances. If he was a bum with no job or he was mentally or physically abusing me and they disliked him i would break up woth him. If it had to do with his personality i would not, i believe is your choice what and who you want to spend your time with.

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  • If I was missing some serious red flags, then yeah I'd hope my parents would physically pull me away until I came to my senses. In general though, my mom and I are like best friends. She tells me her honest thoughts about the guys I date, but she's mainly just happy that I'm happy. It'd be a very rare occasion that I didn't bring someone home who she didn't like.

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  • My parents and I have a really good relationship. They care about my my life and I know for a fact they would do anything for me if it was in their power. So I take their opinions very seriously. That being said my mother never really liked me dating people of others cultures (I blame one two many lifetime movies {race isn't an issue, but sometimes different cultures tend to treat women different then what we are used to}). But I know this is just her being a mother hen and worrying about me. That being said if she ever had objections to a guy I was interested in, she would give me serious reasons why. I trust and respect her more then anything so I would carefully consider her disputes, and judge for myself the risks (if any) and if it is something I'm OK with. Perhaps even talking with the person I'm dating about it. Open discussion is always beneficial in the long run.
    Lol, though more often then not it's my mom shoving guys at me she thinks I'd like. Usually anyone Asian. O. o. But you gotta love her.
    If you have a good relationship with your parents talk with them about why they don't like the person your interested in. If they are good reasons (even if you don't agree), then reason on them for a while. Try to see it from their viewpoint. An how it may affect your relationship in the future.
    Now if their reasons are shallow and false or just excuses. And you have still reasoned it out and can live and be happy with this person, then you are your own adult and must live with the consequences. Be them good or bad. I hope it works out for you!

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  • It depends. My dad doesn't really like most guys I hang out with so then I don't care, but if it's a big objection, I would listen to them, because my parents have a good sight on people and might notice something I don't notice.

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  • 9 chances out of 10 I would still date them. Because my family's objection to whom I date would be because they aren't the same religion as my family. If they had another reason that was valid that they could support with evidence then I would listen.

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  • it's about my feelings towards that person and not about what my parents think. If would arrange a marriage for you would you then just straightaway get married to that person? we're not our parent's puppets dancing as they pull the strings even if that's how they would like it to be.
    If you're parents however have serious concerns maybe give them a chance to get to know that someone better so that might help them to change their mind.

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  • It depends because my mom knows what's best for me and she isn't too picky about guys, because she knows if you love someone than there's no way around it. So if she didn't like the guy I would definitely think twice about dating him because there's probably something really wrong with him.

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  • The only person who decides on who i date is myself. I'm not going to stop dating someone that i like because a friend or family member doesn't like them. If they had concerns about them or if he was affecting me in a bad way then i would consider what they would say and decide from there.

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  • I love my parents and trust their judgement. They're fair minded people, they give people chances and aren't quick to label a guy as a "bad influence". And they have had their share of dating experiences to recognize potential assholes.

    Unless they were discriminating I would never go against them. I wouldn't want a guy to cause tension between us.

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  • I get along with my parents very well. The person Im dating I met online and we really don't know much about each other but we are moving in together to get to know each other better. My dad is OK with it and my mom hates the situation. But it's my life and I want happiness even if it's a risky step. So she likes it or not Im moving.

    If he was like an abuser or something like that of course I would listen to my parents though. Or if he was a loser then I would listen. But how stupid would I be if I was with someone that was not a good person to be around of.

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    • "if he was a loser"
      hmmm what would you mean by loser? like if he didn't work basically?

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    • Yes she is as well.

    • agreed!

  • Although my parents input on who they would like me to date is appreciated I'm an adult and I can choose who I'll date, but my parents have supported me all the time even when I had a girlfriend they supported me ;)

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  • I have an excellent relationship with my parents and generally when they STRONGLY disagree, they have good reasons for doing so. They know me best and we almost alway on the same page when it comes to men I date. They respect my choices too. If they really didn't want me dating the guy, 9/10 times we'd probably break up.

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  • My mom wants me to marry a Christian who is Asian most preferably Filipino. My dad doesn't really care as long as the guy is Christian. I would date the person if I really liked him but it would take me some time to introduce him to my parents as someone more than a friend. I know if I did end up marrying someone outside of my religion I would break my parents hearts. My relationship with my parents is okay.

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    • so you are looking for a christian guy? :o

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    • True :)

  • I would date someone against my parents' wishes. If my mom had a concern about someone I was dating, I would listen and take it into consideration, but I don't think I need my mother's permission to date someone.

    My mom is a pretty accepting and reasonable person, so if she expressed a concern, it would probably be that she was worried he was abusive or something like that, I can't really see her telling me not to date someone based on something stupid like race, religion, etc.

    I have a decent relationship with my mom and no relationship with my dad.

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  • I have good relationships with my parents and trust their opinion. I would really want them to like my partner but ultimately, if they didn't, I'm not going to stop seeing someone who makes me happy lol.

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  • Im wouldn't date them because my parents are far more important and the ones who i knew first so i can't betrade them i have a good relationship with them plus if my boyfriend doesn't get along with them that would be such an ugly tension I believe if its Gods everything will workout

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  • It depends. If they are opposed to me dating him because he's a dickhead, well, obviously I shouldn't be dating him. But only if they're right.

    If they just don't like him for some bs reason (tattoos, being too liberal for their tastes, anything else my parents are opposed to) they can get over it. You date people because you like them and you want to be with them.

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  • Yes I would
    If I love him, nobody can stop me
    Only myself

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    • Do you get along with your parents?

    • My dad, yes
      My mom, we use to have it bad. It's alright now
      My mom would probably never stop me. My dad would disagree on it. But he won't say anything. I can just see it in his eyes

  • Yes I would. I am an adult and I make my own decisions.

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    • Do you get along with your parents?

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    • so even if your mom was totally against your dating a certain guy, you'd still date him?

    • Yes I would. If I like him, he feels the same way, and he treats me right then that is all that matters.

  • Of course I would. My parents have no involvement in my dating life.

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    • Do you get along with your parents?

    • Yes, I get along with them, but as adults I don't trust their ability to read people better than me. The man that they did not want me to date became my best friend and my greatest love. Even they love him now.

    • wow thats inspiring actually! thank you for sharing that! :)

  • I would possibly still date them but I wouldn't want backlash from my family. My family does not stop talking about things. My parents still complain about my sister's ex 20 years later.

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What Guys Said 59

  • It would depend on whether my mother's reason was logical and truly reflected a judgment about my best interest or whether she disapproved because it simply did not fit in with her agenda for how I should live my life.

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  • B, I often disagree with and rebel against my parents anyway, and dating is not an area of life in which I'll let them have any influence. I welcome them to point me out of any red flags or such that they see, and I'll consider them, but I am by no means going to let them have any control over my love life.

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  • Actually, id avoid dating someone that needed so much approval of their parents of who they'd date. My relationship with my mom is good, dad not so much. Relationships are tough already without having someones parents butting in.

    You're an adult, you should be allowed to have you're own mistakes, you're own successes. Live your own life. Your parents don't always know what's best for you.

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  • My parents don't control who I am with. At the end of the day, it's my life I'm living. Now if the persons is 19 and I was 14, then probably a really good idea to stay away till you're at least a freshman. But parents should back off past 18 yr old cause at that point you're actually living your own life. They can't rule who you're with forever. So for freshmans and younger, should probably at least "think" about their reasoning, past junior yr or 18, they should back off.

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  • My family doesn't like it that I find black women attractive. But I don't rush to conclusions like they do that black=loser. If said gal reinforces the stereotype with her behavior though, and makes me regret sticking up for her, that's a dealbreaker.

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  • If they had reasonable concerns, my parents would not be shy about telling me about them. However, they know that it's my decision whom I date. They know that I take good care of myself and that if I'm going after someone that I've thought it through.

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  • My parents and I are solid but I still would date someone even if they said otherwise. I'd feel like they were being controlling unless they had a VERY good reason why I should break it off partly because my parents are already over protective and I'm pretty independent so I already feel smothered. I would keep their words in mind though even when disagreeing and staying in the relationship.

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  • My parents aren't going to have lame reasons for not wanting me to date someone.
    That being said, I value their opinions and they have vastly more life experience than me, but it's my life, and if they can't come up with a really good argument I'm going to date who I want.
    They do have a little more sway over my decisions considering they're going to pay for my housing.. 8/

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  • My dad wants me to only date chinese girls... fuck that! I date any race of girl I want!

    You're dating the person not your parents!

    #SkittlesTasteTheRainbow

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    • So... How did that work out when your dad found out that you were dating girls who are not Chinese?

    • @watashiwahanadesu he didn't care for them very much, but I try to avoid my dad's ignorant traditional ways soo it's okay.

  • I have never dated anyone, but my parents are not the type to object to anything. Of course if I brought a drug addicted white home that would be a definite thing they would get mad at. But my parents aren't dumb, they know the world is full of different people, different religion, different races, in other wordsy parents would be happy that I found a girl to love, or rather a woman lol

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  • Maybe my parents would see something that I'm not seeing in that person because I'm letting my feelings get in the way. Thinking with the heart instead of the head is what I'm referring to. Love can make someone do anything and those around them can determine if whether that person is good them or not. But if someone objected to you dating the other person because of their skin color or something stupid like that, then no. I'd date whoever I was attracted to

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  • If their against you dating that person there's a reason that they are that you should take into consideration

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  • It really depends I will hear them out and see what they say is true about the person i am dating if not then I wouldn't listen.

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  • I wouldn't need my parents permission to date anyone.

    But I would most certainly ask them for their perspective on her, their intuition and gut feeling about her. They have much more life experience than, and even then with the way I was raised and the values they've given me, I would only introduce her to them if and only if I knew my parents would like her.

    Some say that's my parents keeping an imaginary hold on me. All I know is that's called keeping drama to a minimum

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  • I would still date that person, unless my parents have proof that they're a drug dealer or something. But if they simply don't like them, then yes, I would still date them.

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  • Well I remember one time I was talking to this cute light skin black girl I think she was mixed. And my father was waiting for me in the car. As I walked back he was shaking his head and I thought it was because I was holding him up. I told him that I was getting the girls number. And my father flipped out because the girl was black. My mom wouldn't care though. I called her anyway.

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  • Well I'm 32, so yeah. LOL

    I mean, I'd take my mom's advice to heart and examine whether or not her concerns (if she ever were to have any) were valid. I wouldn't base my decision solely on her wishes, though.

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  • Well it really depends if your a total fucking pussy or not doesn't it. Who gives a rats ass about what "mommy and daddy" SAY!! I'm 20 and i have bigger balls than you. Feel ashamed and go stand up to your parents.

    Bitch ass mo' fuckah! <3

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  • My parents have very little influence in my dating life. The only way I'd listen to what they're saying is if they see her as a negative influence on me.

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    • Do you get along with your parents?

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    • hmmm you do have a job, not living together, and she's not looking for a job yet.

    • I'd be fine with it at that stage in my life, but as I get older things would change.
      I'm not trying to support someone life and lifestyle when we're not even married or have kids together etc..

  • There's a good chance that I would date her. However I would take my parent's thoughts into consideration.

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  • I would note what their objection is. My relationship with them is good and I value their opinions.

    However, I'm an adult and make my own decisions.

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  • If your parents want to stop seeing someone beacuse they don't happen to like her/him, they're just being assholes and don't deserve to be taken seriously.
    That's it.

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  • I never brought home my exes. I knew they'd get flak.
    When I brought home my wife, she got more than flak: outright insults.
    My bro's GFs always were OK.

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  • Sorry mum and dad, even tho you raised me to be a good kid and better adult, im going to decide who, why and when i date someone. If i don't ill never learn from my own mistakes (if any).

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  • I never care what my parents say about who I am with. They've never known about any of my girlfriends though, but I doubt they would have been against any of them.
    If in the future they're against one, I wouldn't stop dating her, it's my decision, my life, my future, my happiness, if they don't wanna see me happy, there's no need for us to keep talking.

    But, I doubt my parents will ever say something against someone I date, maybe they don't like her, but they won't tell me to stop being with her. My relationship with them is good, we're not close, but we do get along well, besides the fact that I used to fight with my mother every day, but now that we live in different countries, it's gotten better.

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  • I'll at least hear their concerns, because I value their judgment. Ultimately, I'll make the best decision I can by myself, though.

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  • Your parents don't have any right to decide who you date. Yes, I would, I'd probably be even more encouraged. (I don't have an extremely great relationship with my parents, but it's fine.)

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  • Probably not, my parents know me pretty well, and I value their opinions, luckily so far that problem has not come up yet lol.

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    • Will your parents let you date any race or do they have a racial preference?

    • @watashiwahanadesu my parents don't care about race so that is not a problem.

  • It all depends how much you value your parents' upbringing and their happiness in you doing what your parents want.

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  • My relationship with my parents is good but who I date is up to me, I actually did this before.

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