I felt like an option, so I walked away. Did I do the right thing?

I'm not sure if what I am doing is the right thing and I need your opinion. I fell deeply for a friend of mine, and he confessed he had feelings for me too, but he also told me he wasn't ready for a relationship because his last one ended horribly but said he wanted to get to know me better and see where this went. We became really close, and he really got to know me on a deeper level. One day he started tickling me and touching me and kissing me. No matter how badly my head and my gut were screaming at me to make him stop I couldn't resist how strong my feelings were for him, and we ended up sleeping together. After that night he went to work and acted like he really missed me, and couldn't stop talking to me, after that I didn't hear from him for a few days, and then he texts me out of the blue and asks me if I want to come over. I feared pushing him away so I always gave him space, and I never acted desperate towards him. I saw him quite a few more time after that but we didn't sleep together again for a couple of weeks. Then one weekend he invited me over a few hours before a party we were going to attend, and we slept together again. We go to the party and he doesn't show me a single bit of attention, while letting other girls flirt with him. I was so outraged that the next day I told him I couldn't do this anymore, that he knew how I felt about him and he took advantage of it. He tells me that we already had this conversation and he doesn't understand what changed between then and now, and I told him I felt like I was being lead on and sticking around is hurting me more than leaving will. Right after I said that he told me he didn't want me to dissapear, I haven't talked to him since and that was over a week ago. I still have a lot of feelings for him and I'm doing my best to keep them at bay, but I can't seem to get him off my mind. I guess the real question is... Did I do the right thing by walking away? Should I have given him more time to decide what he wanted?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You let him have his cake and eat it to when he told you he wasn't ready for a relationship you should have just kept your distance especially after the first time you slept with him and things didn't change and since you slept with him a second time you just practically volunteered to be friends with benefits, you should have walked away the first time but better late than never. Congratulations for finally standing up for yourself

    • I did keep my distance, he was the one who couldn't. He knew exactly how I felt about him, I made it very clear. I would have walked away the first time, if I had known his true intentions. If I had known this would happen before I got close to him, I wouldn't have even bothered.

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    • As a guy who has walked away from many friendships and potential friendships take it from me it only hurts for a little while

    • Thank you...

Most Helpful Girl

  • Unfortunately this is the problem with sleeping with someone too fast in a relationship, but what's done is done. There are some men and women who like the thrill of the hunt so to speak and once they tackle their prey they get bored. This might be what happened. But he did say he was interested right? If he told you and you kept bugging him or tried to stay away he might get getting mixed signals or is annoyed by your insecurities.

    The one thing I know about a guy is if he likes you he will make an effort to not lose you. If he hasn't called in a week he may not want you around anymore; Sad but true.

    I don't know if you did the right thing but it's a good lesson and you probably shouldn't sleep with a guy too fast because you know it might cause you some grief in the future.

    If he does call again be sure to tell him exactly how you feel so he understands where you're coming from. Either way I hope you feel better. :)

    • Thanks for the comment. We didn't sleep with each other too quickly, I'm sorry if that is how I made it seem. We had been seeing each other romantically for about 6 months before anything serious started happening. He showed a lot of interest in those 6 months, and he even took me out to dinner right before all of this started happening.

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    • Hmmm, maybe he was slightly offended that you would think he was using you? Guys are pretty point blank with words and if you told him you weren't comfortable continuing the relationship he probably understood that to mean exactly what it does. Tough call...

    • Well it wasn't really a relationship... more like a flirtationship. He was close with me, but not in public. It hurt, because he knew I wanted more but he wasn't ready for it. I never tried to push him to make a decision, but I also couldn't stick around and continue having my heart broken and feeling like nothing but an option to him. I guess I'll never really know if I did the right thing or not, but I will admit I feel a lot less pain now than I did when I was with him.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Wall Of Text.

    • If you're not going to take the time to read the description and answer the question, why comment at all? Honestly.

    • Agreed, just move on to the next question Mr.

    • Alrighty now that I have had the chance to decipher your text.

      I would say that yes, you have indeed made the right choice. Just get out and find someone else who will be better for you.

What Girls Said 1

  • may I ask are you the type of person who have issues with relationships in the past? just curious...


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