How do I get my boyfriend to slow the fuck down?

Sorry for the abbrassive title, but I am in a situation that I've never been in before. I just started dating my current boyfriend a month ago after knowing him for 2 years. We were friends for a long time and when I met him I was in a relationship, when it ended I established I wasn't looking for another for a good while. He stuck around, was patient and a great guy. Never tried anything, never made me feel obligated to date him... nothing.

A while ago I got back into the dating scene and we decided to give it a shot. We hit it off and got together. But as soon as we did, it was like a switch flipped.

He acts like a clingy romantic novel-writer, and not in the good way... in the cheesy, bordering "too much" way.

He constantly talks to me about how we're going to be together forever, how if I died he'd kill himself just to be with me, how he could never see himself with anyone but me - he'd rather be alone than be without me. It's not only this, he can't go 5 minutes without texting me if I'm not right in his face, even if I'm just in the OTHER ROOM - including the freaking bathroom.

I hate to say it but it turns me off. He is acting like a desperate, love sick puppy who has to be attached to my hip wherever I go. He doesn't live with me, but when he stays over and I leave for work in the morning... he'll get upset if I don't wake him up to hug or kiss him - sometimes I am just running late. Literally, he called me crying asking if I hated him.

What happened to the cool, laid back guy who I connected so strongly with? Why is he acting like an over-9000 stage clinger? I like him a lot, but our relationship is so new and he's taking it too fast and getting too attached... it's been a month! I don't know that I'm even at the love stage with him yet.

How so I get him to calm down and come back down to earth without shattering his feelings? Please help me.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Does he have any prior relationship experience? Actually he's doing everything that girls say they want - someone who worships them, can't live without them, and gives them constant affirmation and compliments - but what's great in theory doesn't work in real life.

    I can't see this working out long-term, it's too imbalanced. You can try telling him you need some space, that he's been smothering you. Say you liked the old him but he changed too much, and after one month of dating it's way too soon to be professing his undying love. But don't think there's any way he will take it well.

    • I have never met a girl who said that, but he's never had a girlfriend before so he could be going off of preteen internet fantasies.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I had a situation like that. It's very overwhelming. I think you should sit down with him and reassure him that you're not going anywhere but, you need to calm the fuck down. Tell him that it's frustrating and he's being very overbearing. See what he says to that.

    • I might have to do that.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Tell him. It *might* fix him for you, but it'll definitely fix this for someone else. There's nothing worse than that switch. Sorry that's not what the packaging described at all. Be blunt, and to the point, so he know's you're serious.

    • I might have to be at this point because he's a totally different guy now... I wanted a boyfriend, not a needy man-child on his turbo-period.

    • Well that's what he sold you on. You have every right in this case.

      Also pretty sure you'll have an insanely difficult time finding a non man-child. We have our things. We like our things. They make us happy. Learn to accept us ;)

    • If you say so. Lol.

  • Tell him that. Tell him everythings so fast, to take things slowly. When what he says feels weird, tell him that too.

    He needs to know you're uncomfortable. And it'll be his own fault if he keeps pressing it on - you'll have your limits after all.

  • Maybe you need to hurt his feelings just a little. If he can't understand that you have to *get up and go to work*, he has problems with the real world.

  • Ooh I got this one

    "Baby your penis feels so HUGE when you go slowww"

  • U can't change someone who doesn't wana change himself


What Girls Said 1

  • you should just tell him how you feel.


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