I'm reading these dating/relationship articles from these "experts", and the advice given is so meaningless. People need to understand that you need to be yourself, and that's all there is to it. There are no "rules", and while I agree that dating is somewhat of a game, relationships are not. If you just be yourself, contact her/him how you think you should, treat her the way you should, flirt and show that you're interest, you should have no trouble finding someone who's right for you and talk to you about it. If they care about you, they will kindly (note this) let you know if you're coming off as clingy or if you need to back off. Same thing goes for some people on this website. I've seen some really negative comments or opinions on here just because they went after a bad type of girl/guy and think every experience is like that. Anyone else agree?
- I agree.
- I disagree.
Most Helpful Girl
I think they're bad. They change peoples thoughts and make them think they need to do this or be this way. When really, they just need to be themselves.
Most Helpful Guy
Not all of the advice given is meaningless. If simply being yourself was all that it took, there wouldn't be so many unhappy people on this site. If you think there are no rules, you are wrong. You don't just start by being yourself and getting to know each other and everything falls into place like a fairy tale.
However, there are many people giving bad advice. Some of them are alleged experts. Want to know what I think of experts? Every cow is an expert - because they are out standing in their field. Many of the amateurs have become extremely biased by their bad experiences and they want everyone to join in their misery.
Here are some rules and if you don't follow these, you will learn the hard way:
1. Appearance matters. It doesn't matter how nice a girl is, if have no attraction to her, we will never develop any romantic relationship.
2. Appearance isn't the only thing that matters. If my only interest in a girl is based on her appearance, we may have "fun" for a little while, but we will ever experience more than lust.
3. Forget about opposites attracting. You will me much happier with someone who has at least some similar interests. I'm not into motorcycles or NASCAR and if I chase after a woman who wants to ride a Harley to Daytona or Talladega at least one weekend a month, we're going to go our separate ways rather quickly.
4. Age is not important if you are reasonably close but maturity is very important. If a 25 year old girl is ready to get married, get a house, and have kids, there's no sense in her dating a 25 year old guy who spends every free minute playing video games.
5. If you are looking for a long term relationship/prospect for marriage, there are a few questions that will make the decision for you. Will I be proud to introduce this girl to my mother? Are there significant things about her history that I hope nobody ever discovers? If we had kids and then I died, would I trust this person to finish raising MY children?
There are no "rules" if you mean absolute requirements, but people today are the same as people were 50 or 100 years ago. Really! Experience has taught us that some things work and some things don't.
Don't blindly listen to "experts," but question everything they say. . . but don't ignore them because you think you have the inside scoop on how things work. Take advantage of other people's wisdom and you might avoid a few painful mistakes.