Girls, How do I play this right?

This girl and I dated briefly a few years back. We had strong feelings for each other but it was just a crazy situation. She was very young at the time and I was in a back and forth with an ex I had been with for a long time and was still very in love with. She's an amazing girl but I went back to the ex. She ended up dating another guy, they got pregnant after a few months and ended up getting married. Fast forward. Things didn't work out with my ex and she ended up splitting with her guy. We ended up talking and hanging out. One thing lead to another and boom went the dynamite. She was freshly split and currently still dealing with finalizing divorce and child custody and I had been split a year. I was very cold hearted and numb and she's been the only person since my split that changed that. I honestly didn't want to have any feelings for anyone it just happened with her. She's just that amazing. We've both grown since back then. I knew the deal she was honest. She's in a weird spot emotionally and just doesn't have that capacity. Yet things were said to each other, the sex was incredible. best either of us have had and between the lines it was more than lust. We ended that aspect, she doesn't want to confuse or hurt me and I could tell she was uncomfortable if we were in public together though I was nevery clingy or PDA or anything like that. I absolutely get it, I don't like the thought of her with another but she needs to do her thing and be free and wild so to speak right now. She considers me a best friend and thats more important to me. I don't want to be her rebound I want something solid in the long run if that is ever possible when the time is right. As my best female friend said, just walk, leave her alone. So am asking, ladies in particular... aside from being fonzi (cool) how do I not pay her attention, not answer texts or act if I see her
When we broke it off it got tense for a moment... i was having a stressful week but the conversation ended up ending very well. A couple days later I got an unsolicited message from her one morning when I woke "You're awesome... and I'm lucky to have you in my life at all... that is all :) hope you have a great day:)"
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Just like you stated, you have been broken up with your wife for a year and you were bitter right? It's probably the same with her. Sounds like she just needs a little time to get her ducks in a row. The text that she sent you was thoughtful and it seems like she does care about you. Maybe she knows that she isn't in her right state of mind at the moment and she doesn't want to take it out on you. If she is amazing and you really want something in the long run maybe you shouldn't just walk away. People push the people that they care about away sometimes because they have the fear of getting hurt or to shield them from being hurt by them. Does that make sense? You said that you made a mistake once and you guys found each other again so just be patient with her and give her some time. Be there for her when she needs you, she obviously appreciates you.

    • Yea I'm not tryin to push her away in a negative sense. But I don't wanna be a suicide king... I made that mistake with my ex. It's like I'm trying to just give space... I guess I just felt weird because doin that can feel mean... but I'm not tryin to be. I'm still trying to protect myself. obviously if she needs me as a friend I will be there

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What Girls Said 2

  • just act as a good friend. be around, help when she needs, be really good and friendly with her kid... that shall fetch you brownie points.
    now you have been single for a year, but she hasn't got a chance to live her life like that. give her some space for a month or two... be nothing more than a friend.
    when her curiosity is satisfied, ask her out

  • It sounds like she wants you, but needs to get her stuff sorted! Just be her best friend for the time being. More will come from that over time. Good luck.


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