I just found out the guy I really like is a smoker. I'm not sure how to handle this?

I met him online, we'd been talking for a month, and we finally met a couple days ago. It was a quick visit in between work for both of us, but it was pretty awesome.
We met for drinks yesterday, and that's when I found out that when he drinks, he smokes. I've always had a problem with cigarettes and smokers in general, and I find it kind of a turn-off. Plus the smoke just really bothers me. Makes my throat hurt and stuff.
I still really like him, cause he's a pretty great guy (so far), but this smoking thing... I dunno.
I'm not the type of person who's at all interested in telling someone else what to do, but man. This is pretty disappointing.
Any advice?


Most Helpful Guy

  • When I smoked; if a girl had a problem with it I considered it her problem, deal with my life choice or find someone else. The trouble is that it's you condemning someone else based on your own moral standards sort of thing, obviously a smoker doesn't feel the same way you do and it's irritating to be judged. A relationship is so much more than a cigarette and deciding not to date someone based on that is pretty short sighted. I gave up in the end but I would date a girl if she smoked, it's up to her. If I had a problem I'd find a non-smoker, simple.

    • Well I don't want to tell him how to live his life, but I like him a lot, and he likes me a lot too. The biggest problem I have with dating someone who smokes is the whole second-hand smoke issue. Plus, my grandparents and uncles all smoked, and so far two of them have died from lung cancer. It's just been a big issue in my life.

    • Show All
    • I've had girlfriends who didn't particularly like it but put up with it, so it's a case of can you put up with it? With me I think it was easier because it was on occasion when I was chillin, I'd get a pack of 10 and they'd last me a month, I'd go and smoke outside or away from them because I saw that as polite, I wouldn't do it front of children etc. Some get away with it and some don't, if you quit your risk drops dramatically though. I knew I wouldn't be a smoker forever, but it was a personal thing, up to me when I decided to quit... one day I just randomly stopped smoking and that was it, there was no real reason behind it. I can't really tell you what to do, just give you an insight into my personal perspective as an ex-smoker.

    • @takemaru111111 bugger off somewhere else then, if a dude is in a place where it's not inappropriate to puff away, it's your problem I'm afraid.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I 'll just stay friends with him lol. No more than that.


Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • I wouldn't date a smoker. They are slowly killing themselves. They don't care about their own or their environment's health. Tobacco significantly decreases the erection's hardness. I would take that into consideration too :D

  • You have three choices:
    1. Put up with it and let him puff away.
    2. Positively encourage him to quit and put up with it while he works on quitting.
    3. Find yourself a non-smoker.

  • Just decide what is more important. Smoking isn't that big of a deal. It will shorten his life a little but stress is a bigger killer with more negative health effects, yet we encourage high stress ambition. Living in NYC will cause you to breath more carcinogens and more carbon monoxide than two packs a day and yet, you likely wouldn't ask yourself whether you should date a New Yorker.

    How about asking him if he was thinking of quitting? It isn't easy to quit but people do it all the time. I, personally would not write someone off that smoked just for that reason.

  • I know - I would find very hard to date a smoker too - I would ask them to give up or it is over.


What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!

Recommended myTakes