Just to be clear, I mean would you be more intimidated if your significant other had a few, but long and meaningful relationships (with long periods of time of a lot of sex but with the same partner) or a lot of little ones with lots of sexual partners?
I ask this because me and my current girlfriend sort of talked about our pasts, which honestly didn't bother either of us, and I have had three ex gfs that each lasted more than 2 years wince I was 16, the last one I even lived together with for a year and had plans on marrying (which was so dumb of me in retrospect, but I wisely left that it out now). Meanwhile she has had the complete oposite of nearly no relationship lasting even a year and apx 10ish ONS, whcih I have never done.
In the end, I think she was much more intimdated by my longterm exgfs then I was of her sexual partners, which triples mine. I just thought I would share as there seems to be a lot of 'slut shaming' or unacceptance of our current SOs sexual pasts, but after this discussion, I think past relationships are worse in a way (if either is 'worse').
What do you think?
- I am more bothered by fewer but high quality relationships.
- I am more bothered by many past partners, which were not meaningful.
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I'll admit that both have made me feel a little insecure in the past, for different reasons, but not to the point where I let it interfere with my relationships. I suppose I'd say that that I felt a little more insecure about my partner's long-term relationships because they had a higher level of intimacy and familiarity. They knew the person better and had a lot more history, so there was more that they could potential compare me/our relationship too.
I think that the thing that might be a "yellow flag" for me would be someone who had a high number of casual partners, but no serious partners (at least if they were someone my age). I'd wonder, have they never wanted a long-term relationship? Have they never found someone they connected with enough to have a long-term relationship? Etc.