Girls, I can't ask girls out because Im insecure?

Im insecure of my looks regardless of how you think I look. Its a me thing and I really like this girl she's pretty cool and today is Friday and I got nothing to do but sit at home. I wanted to ask her to hang out get some food and chill at the beach but Im always hesistant because I feel she's gonna think Im not good looking or worth dating... she's really sexy and a lot of guys hit on her Im talking about good looking guys with awesome jobs and all the like. I just dont feel I measure up. She talks to me sometimes over facebook and for some reason she hates my ex.

I still can't gather up the cojones to tell her Im interested. What should I do? I think that the lack of confidence might break my chances too


Most Helpful Girl

  • Ok, forget about your confidence, your looks, or your self-esteem for just a second. There's probably a reason she has not said yes (to be a girlfriend) to any of those guys.

    Now, you have Facebook together. Use that to your advantage. "Hey, thinking about striking down a boring Friday with (insert activity here). Care to join me?"

    If she says yes, great! If she says no, reschedule.
    "That's cool. How about next Friday?" Keep it simple. You're not aiming for a date, you're aiming for a hang-out. Point out that you guys don't really hang out and what not.

    Then, on the hangout, THAT's where you two just have fun like you guys are friends, but here's the rub: You have and will want to establish a CONNECTION. The verbal interaction, inching your way to a physical connection. (Think hands and shoulders. Don't aim down there or she'll think you just want something else.) Look for cues to see if she's comfortable before you make each move. Then that's when you transition to a date.

    And the plan the entire time was to turn a hangout to a date!

    Worst case scenario: You sense she's uncomfortable, you stop sneaking in those "I want to date you" touches, you still have your friendly and fun interactions, and you still land safe with a hangout. Hopefully, more hangouts can transition to dates if the first one doesn't.

    Hope this helps! Questions or concerns?

    • That makes some sense but I already missed my chance lol

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    • I decided against asking her out but thanks for the advice seems pretty solid

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 6

  • Okay. All of that negativity that was entering your head and stopped you from asking her out? Stop it. Now. Honestly.

    I'm sure you know that it impedes on your dating life. What I would advise for you to do is simply COUNTER those thoughts with a positive one and keep reinforcing those thoughts as you approach her. Don't let even one negative thought seep in because you will feel your confidence draining. You need to build yourself up and positive thoughts will do that.

    If you really feel that you can't do it face to face, ask her out over FB.

    Finally, would you rather have tried and know the outcome or simply to never try and lose this girl potentially?

  • Where is that lack of self confidence coming from? You are sexy yourself and I mean that.
    Whenever I can't get the courage to do something I usually do it through text (or fb). Recently I've been trying to overcome that and writing down what I want to say so that when I choke I can just read it. (Over the phone of course) maybe you could try that?
    You need to tell her. You might feel sick afterwords until you hear her response, but it will be worth it, regardless of how it goes.

    • I dont consider myself sexy at all thats the issue and I apreciate the compliment and I did decide against asking her out lol

  • Even if she DOESN'T, for whatever reason, want to date you, what's the worst that can happen? If she's nice about it, you can end up with a new friend -assuming you're not friends already. If she ISN'T nice about it, then it wasn't going to work with you two regardless.

    As for datability, my criteria for finding a guy worth dating:
    -Do I like spending time with him?
    -Do I respect him?
    -Can I trust him?
    -Does all of that seem mutual?
    That's pretty much it. Those are the things where a 'no' is a deal-breaker. Most of my female friends have pretty much the same list. Yeah, confidence is appealing, not gonna lie. But in my experience, the advice "fake it 'til you make it" is actually pretty handy there. You don't need to be all "I AM AWESOME AND SO IS EVERYTHING ABOUT ME" -especially if you're not like that naturally.

    • yeah but those things are great an all but if ther guy is ugly he won't get a chance even if he has those things tho thats a fact

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    • I'm sorry, but I really don't follow your logic there.

  • just do it, the longer you wait, the more freaked out you'll feel.
    if she agrees, then great. if not, its okay and just understand that there's gonna be more amazing people you'll meet

  • Be proud of who you are! Confidence is sexy. Be yourself.

    • nope good faces and hot bods are sexy :)

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    • XD they don't matter to me.

  • Just go for it anyways and start trying to hang out with her. The more you spend time with her your nerves might dissipate. Also, you only live once!

    "To try and fail is at least to learn. To fail to try is to suffer the loss of what might have been." - Benjamin Franklin

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