Is it reasonable I don't want to meet?

My date kid's the very first time I meet her. Like I know eventually I would have to meet her kids in the future which I don't have a problem with. For the very first date I just wanted to be us and it doesn't seem like she wants to accommodate that. Should I just suck it up and go hang out with her and her kids even though it might be awkward? How do you guys feel about a situation like this?


Most Helpful Guy

  • It is totally reasonable but not for your reasons. She should wait a few MONTHS to introduce you, for the sake of her children. They could get attached and It might not work out. Then they will end up feeling abandoned and powerless.

    Explain that you totally accept her children but you want to protect them by waiting a bit until you build some bond between you.

    • So I got to the bottom of things. The only reason why she will have her kids around is because she is still pretty new in town and doesn't have or know a baby sitter. Do you think I should just suck it up and go? Or what would you do in that situation?

    • Show All
    • Cool, thank you. I don't know the situation with the boy's father but here is a typical scenario.
      Because children have not yet developed much perspective, they perceive themselves as the center of the universe and that everything is connected to them. When parents break up, they internalize the problem and conclude that they must have done something to cause the rift.
      This is why the boy is being so engaging and solicitous with you. “If I’m really good, this one won’t go.” Let’s say that later you decide to leave. Maybe it’s because this woman is not a good fit for you---but the child does not know this! He feels that he has somehow failed again.
      Children who experience this cycle of attachment and abandonment have lower self-esteem. This can affect their relationships and their levels of achievement later in life.

    • People always say that children “bounce back.” In fact, they are more vulnerable than adults because they feel all the emotions we do but they do not have our critical faculties to reason their way through things.
      That said, your friend sounds like a great lady with a good son. I hope you all find happiness together.

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What Girls Said 1

  • yeah its reasonable.


What Guys Said 1


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