He (21) likes me (20F), but I'm not sure if I like him as much. Should we date?

My first relationship ended a few months ago, and it ended because of understandable circumstances but still hurt. He was my first love and the first time I felt such a real connection with someone, but I understand that I'm young, and I'm going to find love again, so I've been moving on.

The new guy is a friend of mine who I get the vibe likes me a lot and wants to be more than a friend. He's a nice guy and I have fun with him. We get along great and we laugh together. We haven't kissed or anything yet (he's a bit inexperienced and I've grown wary of hookups) but there's tension and flirting - it's always been that way since I met him, just now I feel it more accutely. So far we've been hanging out, and each one has become subsequently more date-y (dinner instead of lunch, watching the sunset, wanting to pay for my movie ticket, etc.)

But I'm not feeling the same spark as I did with my ex boyfriend. I feel like my ex ruined things for me because we just got each other, and that type of synchronization takes a rare "click" and/or time and effort. I ache for closeness but I know it doesn't happen fast with some people, and that everyone is different.

I'm not sure if I want to get into a relationship beyond the one we have now because I'm scared I don't like him as much as he likes me. Am I expecting too much and should I give it a shot? After all, I'm attracted to him and he makes me laugh and I like being in his company. Or should I let him go and revert to how we were when I wasn't single? I don't want him to get hurt if he starts liking me even more, and what if I just can't reciprocate?

Am I putting too much pressure on myself (and is he, unintentionally?) I don't date people unless I'm sure about them, usually. This is different from casual dating or hookups (I'm sick of the latter and he's not the guy for the former.) Thanks!


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • u should give it a shot... he is single isn't he?

    • Yeah, he is. I guess I'm just scared... what if I break his heart? Or decide that it doesn't work? Would I be jerking him around?

    • then apologize if that happens

What Girls Said 1

  • if you like him, go for it.

    • That's the thing, I'm not really sure if I do other than liking being around him, which is almost the same as being just friends with him plus flirting, you know? I just feel like the balance is a little unequal since he likes me more.