Guys, what am I doing wrong here?

To make a long story short, after the thrill of the chase is gone, guys drop me like a hot potato! How is one ever supposed to get into a relationship if the guy gets rid of her if she shows the slightest amount of interest? I'm not talking about the smothering, spend-every-waking-moment-of-our-lives-together level of interest, but the "You seem cool, I want to get to know you better" kind. I can never seem to get to that point. I'm always stuck in the "he has to like you way more than you like him" part, which is stupid.

What do I do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • The info is unclear. So I am going to assume some things based on the word "chase". I might be totally wrong here but I feel I should express this.

    My ex crush always wanted to be chased. She basically played games with them. Yes the attraction level became higher. She became like a goddess to guys. But when the chase was over she became a regular girl.

    What she did wrong was not let the guy meet the real her from the start. She has a wonderful personality but it is overshadowed by her games.
    Once again, I might be totally wrong here.

    • That sounds exhausting, and totally more work than I'm willing to do. You get the real me from jump. There's no fake personality to bait you with.

      No, by "chase," I mean the phase where everything is new and you don't know much about the person, so you want to know more and spend time with them one-on-one. They're shiny and intriguing, like a wrapped present. My problem is, they'll be like, "Ooh, presents!" And then when it comes time to open them, they're just like, "Eh, it's probably socks. No thanks."

    • Good to hear there are no games.

      Tell me about the "chase" period goes. Is there touching, kissing, dating? How do you and these guys express their interest?

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What Guys Said 3

  • I didn't understand your question too well, but I think the problem is the chase. If you like him, why make him chase you?
    Also, the last part ("he has to like you way more than you like him") is stupid, I've never heard that and it's impossible to make this happen cause you can't control how much you like someone, or how much they like you.

    • I see. Let me put it more basically: If I show interest, the guys lose interest. Why?

      It doesn't matter who chases whom. In my situation, the second I decide I like someone I was previously on the fence about, it's game over.

      I never said that's how it actually was, hence the quotation marks (technically what one is supposed to do when paraphrasing a thought, even if erroneous in nature). I even said it was stupid.

    • Maybe you take too long to like them back and they end up getting tired so they move on, or your approach is putting them off.

      And about the last part I was just agreeing with what you said.

  • guess they lose interest?

  • It must be bad luck because if you're only expressing the slightest amount of interest, it shouldn't ruin your chances with a guy.