Moving in with a girl who frienzoned me and I still have feelings for her - bad idea?

So a girl I asked out and who rejected me wants us to get a place together. I already have my own place but she wants to stay in her town. In fine with it, I work there anyway and it would save some money, plus would be less boring because we get on really well together.

But I have strong feelings for her and she obviously isn't thinking about me like that, is talking about eventually getting into a relationship and calling me friend all the time.
We message each other pretty much every night but don't meet up in person that often. I thought maybe moving in together her feelings might grow for me, but I'm not so sure, a lot of stuff I've read says you need to back off and create some distance for feelings to grow, but it seems impossible because she messages me all the time and pretty much gives up on people that are distant with her.
She was once going to go on a date with a guy until he started not contacting her as much and doing one word answers and that put her off because she has abandonment issues (her dad walked out).

I want to live with her, she's a lovely person but if she never ends up dating me and is bringing guys back all the time or just seeing them whilst I'm there with string feelings I feel like it'll just hurt a lot.

I don't know if I should just tell her. She either thinks I think of her as just a friend or is kidding herself that I do.
She's really excited about this place, she couldn't afford it in her own and I don't want to let her down really.

What do I do? And girls, have you ever moved in with a guy you friendzoned and fallen in love with him? Or just thought of him as even more of a friend?


In brief - She basically wants me, a guy who she friendzoned and now calls her best friend to be her roommate.
I still have feelings for her, feel it could get awkward.


Most Helpful Guy

  • What. In. The. World

    she rejected you, now she wants you to live with her? She doesn't want to inconvenience herself, so even though you already have a place of your own, she wants you to uproot yourself, and move out of your place to a different town just to help her pay for a place she can't afford on her own? This is like megafriendzoned, she appears to have absolutely zero regard for your feelings

    • Well she can't afford to live on her own and is scared she wouldn't manage on her own anyway. We're very close, talk all the time like I said and i previously said she could live with me and that I'd want to live in that other town really, but never said anything about moving. But yeah I kind of thought it sounds like she's using me for it, although she's not callous or anything.

    • Show All
    • Aw dude, don't say that. :( Do you reckon it's how I come across?
      I'm not exactly macho, I'm pretty skinny but I do work out, do some martial arts. But I've really exposed my soft side to her I think. Not as much as I could have done, but maybe too much? I don't know other than that why she wouldn't respect me as a man

    • It's just not something any reasonable person would ask someone to do. Do whatever you want but this looks like a very bad idea

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • that will probably make you guys even better friends from her perspective. no female wants to just up and live with a guy they like.
    tread carefully and be prepared to be hurt if you see her with other `guys... probably not the best idea... but if you have a good feeling about it.. then good luck :)

  • I don't think you should move in with her with expectations like that.
    I'd hate that.

    • You'd hate having a guy who fancies you who you don't want a relationship with living with you and perhaps admitting it? Or you'd hate being the one with the feelings?

What Guys Said 3

  • No, not worth it if it's going to cause you emotional distress like it sounds its going to.

    Her problems aren't yours man, she can get on without you.

  • if u r not friendzoned anymore... not bad idea!

    • I am friendzoned though. Genuinely like her as a friend but I want it to go further.
      Not sure if her feelings will grow for me or if she'll just see guys and it'll be mega awkward for me. I've actually become her best friend now apparently...

  • I don't see any scenario where this ends well...

    • That's what I thought :(