I'm falling for a guy I have no future with. What should I do?

It's been a few months and i think I'm in love with him. I know he likes me and we have fun. All good right? Wrong.
For a few reasons it wouldn't work out long term (religion, him possibly moving awwy one day etc).
there's also the fact that next week he's going traveling for a month with friends. He's not my boyfriend so I have no right to ask him not to get with any girls, but obviously don't want him to. I haven't said anything to him because I don't know what I'd say
my friend thinks I should relax and see what happens, but I can only imagine this ending in heartbreak.
I don't know what to do :(


Most Helpful Girl

  • if you are that emotionally involved and it has been over 3 months but you guys don't have an understanding this is setting you up for a big fail. I would see the trip as my opportunity to establish things in clearer terms. He doesn't need to call on a time schedule but this is the time to have the exclusive or not talk. If he can't commit now he won't later, he just isn't that into you, you guys are just having fun. On the flip though maybe he is totally into you and doesn't think the talk is necessary or doesn't know how to approach.

    Either way, this is your crossroads. If in some magical land he does commit after the trip and hooks up on it I promise it is a ticking time bomb. I travel for the experience and travel often. I trip planned 9 months out happens in the middle of relationships but I have fun, maybe a flirt but nothing more. Same with other guys I meet on the road. When it is real and means something hell enjoy the trip but not hook up because he doesn't want to have to lie to your beautiful face repeatedly on return. The longer he is gone the more he misses you and less likely o cheat if it is real. best


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What Guys Said 2

  • Hmmm, this is a dilemma. I guess it comes down to sacrifices. How much would you sacrifice to be with him and vice versa?

    • I would to be with him
      But he's old fashioned and I think he just thinks it is the way it is
      Other than that though, does it sound weird to ask a guy to be loyal to me when we're not in a relationship?

    • Show All
    • I think he knows I wouldn't be ok with it...
      Because I told him I couldn't see him if he was seeing anyone else when we first stared hanging out
      What if I just made an easy chat of it so it's a statement not a question?
      Like bringing up his holiday saying something like About your holiday, I know that we care about each other, and that since you're involved with me you respect my morals; so I trust that you're loyal like me and you won't forget me when you're away

      But in person obviously, and at the right time
      I want to be honest but not pushy, I'd prefer him to make his own decisions then tell him what not to do etc

    • There's the religion thing. It must be an issue or you wouldn't have mentioned it. Otherwise tell him how you feel about him

  • religion... ?

    • Yeah... When people marry those from the same church by choice for tradition

What Girls Said 1

  • You can cut off complete contact with him. But I think that as long as you two agree to teach your children about all religions, you two can work it out. Just because the person is moving soon doesn't meant that you can't Skype. And they might not be far away.

    • We're both Christians
      But he would only marry a catholic which I am not
      He's not moving away for a few years

    • Seriously? That's dumb to me. You both believe in God and Jesus but simply have different ways of worship. I'm a Christian too but I would marry an Atheist as long as he didn't want children.

    • He is from a different country and they are have a lot of traditions which in the family are important and he wants to follow them

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