How to I become more datable and keep guys around? how to make guys interested in more then JUST sex?

I want to be more "datable" and evolve as a person, but im not totally sure where or what to being with. So i was very close minded and very judgmental, but after i moved and got independent i realised a lot about myself as a person and why i do what i do and why i think like i think.

For example i realised i self sabotage a lot, epsecially, or mostly, when it comes to guys and dating, and that i rarely "give of myself". Im not a hundred prosent sure why i do this, but i would guess it has something to do with rejection and not knowing "who i am".

Anyway, im sick of feeling sorry for myelf all the time and not doing anything and expect everything. So the things i have started with is doing new things and putting myself a bit more out there. Im planning to sign up for kickboxing and i have started doing som gardening and enjoying it (i hated it before) and in genereal having an open mind set.

So when it comes to guys how can i become more interesting and datable and "girlfriend material"? how do i make guys interested except from being attractive? Some guys are super facinated with my looks, but i guess i get lazy ( not showing interest, not bringing something to the relationship) and they lose interest in anything more the sex.

So guys, what can i do? and where to meet guys? i feel that meeting someone is my biggest problem lol


Most Helpful Guy

  • I really like all this self reflection you're doing:

    " So i was very close minded and very judgmental..."

    The more you put yourself out there the more open minded and less judgmental you will become (this is a never ending life practice).

    I think you're doing great, it's tough to put yourself out there as you risk humility and doing thing "unknown" but just like anything, the first couple of weeks are tough but you learn to enjoy it. You then hit a "plateau" and you either grind through it and find success or you realize maybe this isn't for you but the experience and knowledge you gain is great!

    "So guys, what can i do? and where to meet guys? i feel that meeting someone is my biggest problem lol"

    Honestly, just keep working on yourself. Continue to find your own zen and happiness. When guys meet you they will feel your positive and happy aura and automatically come after you. If they don't recognize it, then they maybe not have it themselves.

    i hate to say it but when you know.. you know. When you start "actively" searching for guys... it becomes a "make an excuse for him" which then takes energy away from self improvement time.

    be open to dating but don't lose your mind over it.

    • thank you for your advice! I found them very helpful :)

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What Guys Said 3

  • Be honest with yourself and others, built trust between you and your friend. Don't rush anything at all, and all should work well.

  • Where did you meet the last 3 boyfriends?

    • i have never been in a relationship

  • Respect yourself, and you will attract people who respect you. You're on the right road atm

    • i do... but being inactiv hasn't really workee ou for me... and good to know!

    • Show All
    • i go to the gym all the time... i have since i was 15 and i have never meet anyone..

    • Well the one thing I'll tell you is dont force relationships. Or even force yourself to meet someone, Life doesn't work like that... It'll come naturally. Just focus on bettering yourself. You're young like me

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