Girls, could you accept it if a guy did this?

Okay here is a backstory and I asked for girls only because I want to see the opposite point of view.

Last year I reconnected with this girl I knew in high school. She's been studying abroad and is coming home in a couple months. We were friends in HS but since we reconnected and been talking for almost a year now we have gotten closer and she said she has feelings for me. I do too and we agreed that we would start dating when she comes back to America.

So last night she called me up and said she slept with one of her classmates over there. She said she doesn't really like him and it didn't mean anything, it was just a stupid mistake blablablabla. I asked if she was drinking when she did that she said she was not. Anyways I am fucking furious about that, even though we are not technically in a relationship she still expressed feelings and an intention to date me. So I feel like if she was serious about that she wouldn't have slept with some random guy.

I don't know how to handle this, now she is freaking out because she is afraid I will stop talking to her and will not be there when she comes back. Honestly I am thinking about it because why would I keep waiting for this girl if she did not even wait two months when we were about to start dating for real? Am I crazy for being angry about this? Girls if you were in this situation and a guy you had feelings for did this, how would you react?

Personally I don't know if I can accept this because I am a very jealous man, and there is literally nothing that can take her actions back. So I either have to suck it up and deal with it, or cut her off.


Most Helpful Girl

  • First off, you have to give her some credit for being honest with you. she could've lied and said she was drunk or not even mention sleeping with a classmate of hers. she cares about you and your guys' future relationship that much that she would risk you not wanting to date her by telling you that she slept with another guy. I'm not saying that what she did was okay or reasonable. I'm just saying that you shouldn't be so angry with her that you'd throw out the idea of dating her. No I don't think you being upset about this is crazy. You have the right to be. Heck, I'd be mad if I were you. I would probably ask him multiple questions: Why would you sleep with her? Do you even care about us? Do you want to date me? Was that a one time thing? Was she an ex girlfriend? E. t. c

    but I also think you should give her a chance. I see both sides in this situation. Yes, her sleeping with a guy gives you the impression that she's not serious about dating you and that she couldn't control her hormones but pretend this situation was reverse. Yes , you probably wouldn't sleep with a classmate but pretend that you did. Would you want her to give you another chance? She made a mistake and she regrets it. (Well, I hope she does) everyone deserves another chance. Let her gain your trust though. But after that second chance don't give her another. People only get 2 chances :P. I hope this helped

    • You know I can understand that excuse because you are under 18 years old. But this girl is 24 I am kinda expecting more out of her than to make this amateur mistake. I did ask questions about this guy, he was basically nothing but a piece of meat she wanted to fuck, no personal feelings attached. That makes it worse for me cause if she had feelings I could have at least understand that.

      I don't know if I can give her a second chance I feel like this may have been too stupid a mistake that could easily have been avoided. I guess I have two months to think about it.

    • This user is under age 18, but she's actually really reasonable. You have to put yourself in her shoes. Even if you wouldn't do what she did, just try to understand it. You don't have to be perfectly okay with it, I'd be pissed off and hurt too. BUT I think you should look at it like this anonymous user put it. She's said this very well.

    • @NoDoubt +1

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • You should cut her off. I'm putting myself in that situation and I would be the same as you as well as hurt.

    Yes, you both were technically single. But both of you expressed interest in being together.

    I appreciate that she told you instead of you finding out later, but you're right: if I was serious about someone, I wouldn't fuck someone before getting with them.

    You need to tone down your jealousy though, because it's not healthy for many relationships. But she was in the wrong. I wouldn't be with that guy anymore.

    • You are right I need to work on it. It's just when I have feelings for a girl I hate the thought of her cheating and I guess I am associating this with cheating even though it is technically not because we haven't even dated. But I know the girls I have dated said I get jealous when they talk to guys. It's hard cause I know when they be wanting my girl and I guess I have trust issues.

    • It's still wrong to me though. Why would you tell a potential boyfriend that you slept with someone before getting with them? If you did that to her, you'd lose your chances I bet. I wouldn't be with her.

    • Your right I'm gonna cut her off because she would definitely do the same if I slept with someone. Cause she once told me she worried I would find another girl before she came back to the US. Guess that might actually happen after all.

  • Yes and no. I mean you guys haven't defined anything so technically she is free to do whoever she pleases BUT you've made it clear that you have feelings for her and she knew that this would upset you so therefor she is playing with your emotions. I would be upset too if a guy did this to me and would rethink starting a relationship with them.

  • Well if I really really liked him, then yeah I would be angry.

  • You're too posseive. You're not a good match for this girl

    • I am "possessive" because a girl who said she really liked me and wanted to seriously date me two months from now, but had no second thoughts before fucking some random dude she says she didn't even like?

      Please elaborate on that.

    • Possessive? This girl told him she had feelings for him and told him she seriously wants to date him. She then went and fucked this other guy just because she thought he was hot. How is he possessive? She made a bitch move and he has a right to be pissed. I've been in his shoes.