Experienced Arrogance on dating sites?

I'm starting to notice lots of guys come across as arrogant on dating sites or they act like they don't care. POF allows users to say yes no or maybe to people they might want to meet. If it's mutual yes both parties are notified. The guy messages me an initial hi and when I try to say hi and make conversation it's not much effort. Then they will say they looking for personality but don't try to get to find out. Why bother? I know they are messaging other people too but I also know guys don't get as many messages or responses as girls do so when one you are attracted to is responding why not make more of an effort? I don't know if I'm even asking a question lol or just venting. Comments are always welcomed lol


Most Helpful Guy

  • online dating is a nightmare for guys.


    This diagram (statistics from Okcupid) shows you how much messages men and women get in a month.

    from ugliest woman to hottest one - and them from ugliest man to hottest man.

    The 2 best looking women get 536 and 428 messages, the 2 best looking man get 38 and 12 messages...
    Even the ugliest chick gets 11 messages... almost as much as the best looking guy. What a fucking joke.

    • Yea I figured cause I know I respond to only a few people cause you can't message everyone and mostly guys message where girls don't need to initiate. I'm sure it sucks.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • I think it's the girls that are arrogant. Most messages sent from men to women get ignored. Most women's profile's are lists of demands.
    And yet women somehow always manage to find some way that they're the victim.

    If you really want to have a serious conversation with the guy, give him your phone number. That immediately says, I'm putting 100% of my attention on socializing with you right now.

    Except that doesn't fit the narrative of men having to win women's favor by proving themselves step by step climbing the ladder to marriage, does it?

    Online dating is a waste of time, because all you women do is waste our time. You're all a bunch of phonies.

    • Lol oh my... Apparently things don't go as smoothly for you either... So why don't guys ask for the number? Since when did guys who are actually getting responses so scared for asking? Trust me girls get a load of messages so they can't respond to everyone so if you get a response they liked you... At that point be bold and ask and respond timely with interest don't you agree?

  • I've used a dating site before and to be honest most women there have high expectations from guys and are pretty shallow maybe guys don't put anymore effort because of that

    • Interesting so basically guys are jaded?

    • Show All
    • Yes but if I respond to you that means I'm interested... I get pages of messages so if I actually choose to respond that means I'm interested but you never know some girls might talk to too many and don't know how to focus

    • Yea but word of advice don't reply with boring replies it's hard already to get someone to reply but keeping a conversation going when the other is bringing it down makes you just stop all together xD lol *no wonder they're single*

  • Hmm I think that if I'd say something, and they don't reply... then I'll stop, that would be 'no interest' signal
    or when the other answers in short answers, then I would stop too

    It's like when you text a whole story to a friend, and you get 'ok' as a reply, #LeFrustration

    • Interesting... So if I get a short response then what to I do? Go me that means you're not that interested in getting to know me?

    • Well I usually try to reply, doesn't matter who it is.
      I'd still message you even if I'm not into you, we can always be friends, you know?

  • can i see what you look like? that would help formulate my opinion better.

    • Not sure if I feel comfortable sharing a picture but I dont have trouble getting messages, I've personally never reached out I wait for men to message me first that way I know they're attracted... It's the conversation... They'll say hi I'll respond with hi how are you or whatever and there isn't much effort for a convo so I figure ok they're not serious about dating or meeting so why reach out or say they want to meet

    • well if you dont put much effort into the conversation why should they and if you stop replying because you got bored then they were right for not trying

  • They might be trying to come across as confident but overdoing it. Or they could just be only half interested.


What Girls Said 1

  • That was similar to my experience too. You can only drag so many conversations out of a guy. I thought maybe I was just on a bad site for communication and switched to okcupid. I get a few more bites but it was around the time when I met my boyfriend so didn't really experience the site as a serious long term thing.

    Pof is one of the easier sites to set up a profile on though. Sometimes I wonder if that appeals mostly to a certain kind of person know what I mean?

    • Yes... I get told that's a terrible site but I get told that even the pay for sites really aren't that better.

    • It seems to be a pretty consistent trend doesn't it :/

Loading... ;