Are these legit excuses for not wanting to commit?

I've been seeing this guy for a few months. We live in different states, but I have family near him so I'm there once a month. We are intimate, but it's not a late night situaution. He takes me out, does nice things for me, and is extremely affectionate all the time. He holds my hand, plays with my hair, pulls me to his chest, and I'll catch him smiling at me all the time. He also isn't constantly trying to sleep with me and we have deep conversations. Right now I'm working near him for the next few weeks. Last week, he lost his job, so I cooked for him yesterday to cheer him up since he's been in a funk. He seemed to really appreciate it, but we had the conversation about what's going to happen when I move back. He said he likes spending time with me and how much fun we have together, but that there's no stability because we live in different places and he wants to figure out what he's doing. He said he's been stressed lately about what he wants to do with his life (he's in his late 20s). He said he can't see a relationship with anyone until he gets his life/finances together. He told me he wants to stay in touch and that he likes how open our communication is. He's still been very sweet since the talk and told me not to worry he's not freaked out at all and would never judge me. I got offered a job near him, but I haven't told him because I'm not sure if it's worth it at this point if he doesn't want to be with me. Should I tell him and see how he reacts or is it not worth it? Should I give him time or move on?


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What Guys Said 2

  • These are legit. I would be the same way. I would feel like a loser without a job would have low self esteem. Sounds like he has other life issues he wants to straighten out too. It is like he can't be the provider he feels he should be, that is why he wants to go separate ways right now.

  • Those can be legit, just depends on the person and their beliefs. I would say talk to him about it and see how he reacts to you getting the job. If he still says the same thing then maybe it's time to move on


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