We never had the chance to fully develop our relationship, what can I do to get a second chance?

So in the long run we weren't able to stay together because of a whole range of issues, it was bad timing if anything, and we rushed things but there was a whole lot of potential.

We've talked about getting back together a few times and neither of us are against it, we both regret that we broke up, but in a lot of ways it's now a case of "If it feels right we'll go back to it and try again", a small number of times she came round and said she liked me, but shortly after went quiet because she never believes we'll last or be that close again, she's scared about getting hurt, but we've never been able to sit down while interest is there and just talk about it.

I have an opputunity to meet her later in the month, which will be the first I've seen her since we broke up, but it will be at a music fesival with a bunch of friends in town. I'm skeptical about going.

What can I do to get my second chance here?


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What Girls Said 1

  • First, I want to say that it's possible that this relationship in your life did develop to it's fullest point, it's just that the fullest point and place it was supposed to go was where it went, which may not seem very far or developed to you, but in reality it was. Just a thought.

    However, you two are correct in not rushing back into it simply because you still have feelings for one another or wish it could have been more/lasted longer, etc. Your opportunity is definitely this music festival. That will take some of the tension or pressure off seeing one another again because there will be distractions in the festival itself and other friends around. It's actually a great set up because everyone will be in a light mood, ready to have a good time. You will be able to see how it is around her again, if you still feel the pull while in her actual presence, instead of just talking. At some point, grab her to go off to help you carry back a round of drinks (cheap beers!) for the group. Lines at those things can be kinda long and it would give you an opportunity for one on one time. Don't talk about all of the relationship stuff, just have fun. Talk about the music, what's been going on in your life, any plans you have coming up, etc. If it goes well, that will be a plus to further try to advance to get your second chance, if that's still what you want. Good luck and best wishes!

    • Thank you so much! I feel it is a good opputunity to get to see her again, It puts the weight off it being an awkward "Oh hey" meet up down the coffee shop or something, It's a good starting point. But at the same time she's stubborn, not that long ago about two months she said that she liked me and I quote "The reason I never met up with you is because, well, I know I'm just going to end up liking you again and I'm scared" but she won't go that step further because again she believes we'll never be that close, but I believe it can happen.

    • There could be so many "hidden meaning" ways to analyze that statement she made, but honestly, it's just not worth it. Analyzing isn't going to change the situation. That's what she's telling you, but who really knows if that's the actual reason she's never met up with you again. I can tell you that most women, if they really liked a guy and regretted a break up, would jump at the chance to meet up with the guy again. I mean, what she's saying kinda doesn't make sense. The scared to get hurt thing does, but then saying she believes we'll never be that close... Then she's saying she likes you, but then she's scared to meet up b/c she's scared she's going to end up liking you again? Confusing. Anyway, just see how it goes at the festival and go from there. All you can really do.

    • It's been really quite confusing, a few times I've had to sit back and analyse all of this, but I know even herself sees she doesn't really make much sense in what she does, but in a broad standpoint I know I need her interest really to go further, I can make this interest while at the festival if I play my cards right. I know for a while it was always touch and go whenever we talked about meeting up and she never really opened up, I can be thankful that's different now though, I will just have to see how things go when we're there.

What Guys Said 1

  • You don't usually get a second chance.

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