What is he hiding?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 year. I stopped him from talking to one of his female friend because she's clingy as hell and it's really unsettling. He's lied to me in the past about not talking to her when he was. They were out of contact for a while but recently he randomly met her while out, he told me about this and he also expected me to let him have his friend back. But because I've been lied to so much about it in the past, I can't. I suspect that he's been talking to her because there's a social media on his phone that was a downloaded app and it is always in his 'recent apps' the thing is, we don't communicate on this app nor does he with any of his close friends/family. Today, one of his opened apps came up on his screen and he just quickly locked his phone without closing it, after a while when I was not near him he went on to close this app when i could not see. I don't know how to approach him with this.


Most Helpful Girl

  • It is very much completely understandable and ok for you to feel this way. You are his girlfriend. You both are in the relationship, and if it is going to work he is going to have to be wiling to hear you and listen to your feelings and respect your feelings.

    You are not being controlling... It is instinct, there is this girl, whether or not they have known each other for one month or five years, you are feeling threatened because she must be stepping over a line and from what you say up there, she is. It is not even about control, it is about understanding. You feel a specific way about something and it is not kookoo or anything at all, it is reasonable, and well, you are needing to speak to him about it more, because he is hurting you, and she is too.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Confront him about it and talk it out. Sees what's going on through him directly. Its obviously bothering you so do something about it. But you have to realize that it was a bit unfair to make him stop being friends with someone because you were jealous. Or if you know FOR A FACT that there is something going on between them two intimately then, you need to tell him that's either you or her. She walks or you leave. Good luck!

    • Thanks for the advice/opinion. I know it was unfair and I was going to let them be friends again but he lied to me and kept in contact with her before and when I approached him he denied it and even went on to say hurtful things to me. So I left it at that.

    • Has he been friends with this girl for a long time? Maybe they just have a history together and he's been there for her. I have a few friends like that. Dont get me wrong though, I DO really understand your frustration and it's not your fault. It does kinda seen like there is something going on from what you've said. But really you never know for sure til you ask him yourself. It may all just be in your head for all you know

    • He knows her about 5 years but they have been good friends for only about 1 year. It is evidently that she likes him. She was out of his life completely the other times. I'm all for him having his female friends and stuff. But if they can't respect boundaries and message 24/7 then something is not right. you don't demand someone's time if your just a friend. Know your place. Oh and I forgot to mention she was in a state of depression after he left.

  • why do girls think they have the right to tell their boyfriends who they can and can't be friends with

    • Trust me, I'm not the controlling type or whatever people call it. But this girl doesn't know to respect someone's space, she contacts my boyfriend 24/7 and when he doesn't reply she sends another message asking why he didn't. She acts as though he's her man. Any woman or if the story was the other way around, any man would find that unsettling.

    • really it sounds like you just don't like her and don't want him to talk to her

What Girls Said 2

  • In my experience when I was in the exact situation as you. He was cheating on me. I'd say something to him and really make it a point that it's bothering you. He's either going to respect what you have to say or lowkey try to blow you off. His reaction should give you your answer

    • Thank you. I am going to confront him about it the next time I see him. I'm not sure which way it'll go but I hope he doesn't display any aggressive behavior because that would really piss me off.

    • I wish you the best of luck doll!

  • there are great chances that he might be still in contact with her... just ask him to tell the truth

    • When I approached him about it in the past it always led to him getting angry at me. He don't ever curse me but that's when he does. Which makes me dislike this friend even more.

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    • Oh yea I really do and I want this to be forever. 😊 but I can't do it without him knowing because sooner or later she will find a way to meet him even if it means waiting on his street to let him know.

    • hmmmm arrange a meeting with the girl and bring along your boyfriend and confront both of them