Am I asking too much with my girlfriend to not smoke in front of me?

Basically she had smoked in the past but was not when we started dating, but has slowely start vaping again. I admit, this does not smell or taste nearly as bad, but it still makes me insanely uncomfortable to see her smoking. I knew she smoked with friends on a night out, but she started doing it while with me last night and I basically just said I don't mind if she does it, just not in front of me as I really don't like smoking, the habit itself. She basically got really weird and said I was being unreasonable, but it just makes me feel super uncomfortable around her smoking and it is a huge turn off, she got upset I would not kiss her really either. (as I said, it was not anywhere close to ciggerates, but still odd.) Now she says she feels super unsexy to me and I said no, (though smoking is a huge turn off to me). I just feel like both our problems would be solved if she just did not smoke around me, is that really so unreasonable?


Most Helpful Girl

  • No, its not unreasonable.
    I had friends that would go outside in the hallway or outside of my home and smoke.
    They would come back.
    They had no problem doing this.
    I just didn't like the scent in my home.
    She shouldn't take it so personally.

    • I would talk to her about this again.
      And let her know I find her just as attractive just not the habit itself.
      Let her know it isn't a deal breaker for you at all, you just would rather her respect you and not do it in front of you.

    • Show All
    • Ya I hope not, but it just makes my skin crawl seeing her specifically smoke... I don't know why. thanks again for the help.

    • Glad I could :)

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What Girls Said 4

  • I don't find it unreasonable at all, I used to smoke (now I'm a non-smoker again, yay!) and I really understand that it's a relieving habit but I can also understand that some people don't like it since it really smells bad and by not smoking around them when these people ask me not to do so it's just a sign of showing respect.

    • It is not even the smell to be honest, her ecig is so low I can hardly smell it or even see smoke, but it is the action and habit that gets me. I think she feels a bit betrayed as I found out this morning that her family has asked her to stop smoking around them as well. But I really dislike smoking on a personal level (just with some drinks here and there fine, but not an addicted habit).

      by the way cuddos for you for cutting it!

    • Thank you, and still I don't think that just asking her to not smoke around you is unreasonable (other than asking her to quit which really wouldn't be anyones business) - but just explain to her that you simply don't like it and that it's also about mutual respect here and hope that she will change.

    • Yea, no I would never want to be that controlling, and I know she is trying in her own way, she has said lots of times how she enjoys her life more when not smoking, but she keeps going back to it. I tried to make it clear that it is just in my presence really to not smoke and she got pretty withdrawn and upset, but not angry I think. thanks again though

  • I dont think asking her to stop doing it around you is unreasonable, as she can do it at other times, however I think it was a bit unreasonable of you not to kiss her

    • I did kiss her to make her feel better... I just didn't make out with her... it tastes weird...

  • I don't find it unreasonable in this case.

  • No it isn't unreasonable. But why did you date a girl who smokes to begin with?

    • Well she didn't when we met. It then turned into just when out for a night drinking not with me and now it is not a ton, but some through the day. This is the first time she just openly smoked in front of me after 5 months.

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