Going on first dates with good women that I'm not very attracted to... should I stop or continue in hopes that the feelings will grow?

I've been using Tinder and have been getting plenty of matches. I'm not cocky but I've been told I'm a good looking guy, I make a decent living and I have lots interesting stories and backgrounds (used to be professional martial artist).

Recently I've gotten in some conversations with some higher quality girls that look so so in their pictures. One girl in particular is a 26yr old attorney and she got in long conversations with me. She got frustrated when I didn't text her back right away (sign she's very interested in me). Another is studying to be a nurse. I wasn't overly eager to respond to these women and I didn't try to do anything to impress them in my messages. I also never brought up anything sexual. Ironically they seemed to eagerly text me more because I was being a challenge.

Anyway I've been on several one time dates this year (around 12-15). About half of the women I immediately lost physical interest in upon first meeting them. The others didn't like me that much. I hooked up with just one (and made out with another). However being a traditional man I do all the planning and I pay all of the expenses on date. No matter the girl I put on smile, joke around and act friendly. But when it's done and done I just wasted a bunch of time and MONEY ($50 to $80+ a date) on girls I'm not that attracted to.

I'm trying to avoid the situation I had with my ex. On paper my ex was absolutely PERFECT. Educated, generous, polite, rationale, no baggage, good cook, very attracted to me, etc. However I was never really that physically attracted to her. I absolutely HATED MYSELF for feeling that way. I did love her and I wanted her to be happy. I don't want this to happen with someone else.

Anyway should I just quit matching/talking to girls (that I haven't met) because they don't look to good in their pics? I feel like immature 16yr old saying this. However looks DO matter... even if you're in your early 30s. Is this the price I pay until I find the right girl?


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What Girls Said 1

  • I wouldn't want a guy to waste my time trying to date me if he didn't even like my looks.


What Guys Said 1

  • First date for a person you've met online should be someting like drinks or coffee to keep expenses and time commitment down

    • Good advice. I've done this in the past.